Con-Fighter: Sweet-Tooth vs Blue-Tooth (Intro)

[Missy Tech]

*Omigoshomigoshomigosh... I STILL can't believe I'm here!*

* M.E.G.A... the Massive Expo for Gaming in America... the MECCA for Geeks, Hackers, and L33t gamers alike... or at least for those of us who couldn't make it to E-3. I've been up since before dawn, prepping and re-prepping, making sure that I have everything I need before heading out. I'm now standing in line, semi-patiently waiting as I re-check everything for the 3rd or 5th time, ready to begin this nerdy pilgrimage to begin.*

*I'm so wound up I am practically squeeing here!*

*Question is where do I want to start? I do have detailed floor-plans illustrating where everyone is at.... do I do this efficiently or do I make a B-line for the 360 to see what sweet gamage they'll be giving us? OOOH... Microsoft's also got some new apps they're ready to...*

*... wait... what?*

" No... we can't just upload to all of this stuff without buying it first ... WTF??? We can't do THAT! What do you think this is... Grand Theft Auto!? Why? WHY?!? omg... Well Duh... we're the GOOD GUYS here."

* Not like I'm really one to complain about this, but... man Kanti can be SO melodramatic sometimes... not the kinda 'tude I'd expect from a Guyver suit. Well not that you really know what a Guyver Suit would be thinking in it's down time... or when it's ripping monsters in half... they never explored the weapons point of view in there... or in any of that genera. It's all centered around the whiney teenage pilots as they stop whining and grow up*

* You'd think the girl talking to herself would get some odd looks, but aside from the fact that I have congregated myself among fellow nerds... I have my headset on. For all anyone knows I'm talking to someone over the phone, and not having a semi-telepathic conversation with my Guyver suit.*

* wait... where was I? Oh right, spazzing over the con.*

* I DO have everything... Right? It's not like I've been re-checking it incessantly. Pre-paid Con-pass? Check. Official Hetalia wallet containing 500 US dollars? Check. Fashionably stylish Ash Ketchum baseball cap? Check. Cell-charm adorned backpack containing PC... Check. Guyver suit? Well DUH. It's not like I could be talking to him if I didn't...*

"What? No... no there's no way I'd forget.... What?? NO! I wasn't planning on ditching you or anything it's... oh wait, the lines moving!"

* FINALLY! The con is starting! The rabid Fan-boys and Fan-girls can rejoice as we pile in to the convention center and get a chance to look over all of the goodies! The games, the movies, the Tech, the Spartans...*

* OH! We have cos-players! Cool! Spartans, Elite soldiers from the Halo franchise. Man these guys have really gone all out... perfect replica's of the soldiers body armor and everything. Not a single imperfection in their A testament to the methodical hard-work of an obsessive-compulsive nerd's mind.*

*Waitasec.... why do I smell strawberries?*

* Oh well, can't worry about that right now... on with the convention! The first few booths fly by... nothing peaking our interest any until we get down a ways, like all the way to the nosebleeds. OMG... they have Robotech cell charms! OH they would be such a wonderful addition to my collection! I look up but... nobodies there. Srsly? This guy has had all morning to goof off and now he takes off. I'm almost kinda tempted to not buy this!*

" No kanti... I didn't mean steal it..."

* Wouldn't you know it... I fumble on the goal line... the little trinket slipping out of my fingers and bouncing down underneath the table.*

"Quiet you..."

* I deadpanly grumble as I get down, crawling under the sheet to pick it back up. Man it bounced far. I sure hope that guy doesn't show back up right now because this would be really embarrassing! Finally! I got it, when all of a sudden a loud noise blasts through the convention center, the surprise of which causes me to slam my head up on the table. I crawl out on the dealer side... peeking my head over.*

* You've gotta be kidding me*

* Those Spartans I talked about? Yeah... they just whipped out Machine guns, M-16's if Call of Duty serves me right, and are presently herding everyone to the center stage. They remain silent, letting their guns and brute force to the talking for them. Due to my position they didn't see me... letting me watch, and listen, as some know-it-all sounding cackling echoes over the loudspeaker's. The voice instructs them to gather round and give her a round of applause... before the skylight opens, and this pigtailed white girl in this AWFUL pink outfit comes repelling down to the stage on a zip-line that... wait...*

* I tap my phone-bud to get my scouter out and zoom in...*

*is that licorice?*

*BLACK Licorice?*

*Ewww.... I don't know what's more disgusting... black licorice or that HORRIBLE Pink-striped flash-dance outfit she's got on.*

* yuck... yuck...yuck...*

* I didn't wait around to listen to any pretentious monologue to duck down and slip under one of the booths... not that I really HAD to with the candy-striper broadcasting her innate superiority over the loudspeakers. I couldn't really worry about that right now... I had to find myself a phone-booth. Someplace secluded so me n Kanti an upgrade and...*

" Yes Kanti... it's Pwnage time."

* Finally, I spy the perfect outlet. One of the speaker booths just out of sight is all tore apart, the inner housing being taken out for maintenance. More than enough room for me to safely and comfortably guyver-up... then we can teach this con-disrupting, black-licorice liking, long-winded fashion nightmare a couple of hard lessons....*

*... NOBODY hijacks my Con and gets away with it!*

[N.P.C.]

NPC is Jawbreaker

Oh My God! I cannot Believe they fell for that! Over Three thousand nerds, Nerds mind you, and not one of them, not one stinking Gamer spotted anything amiss till the trap was already sprung. Heck, I bet half of them STILL haven’t notice. Plus, add on to that the WEEKs of preparation I put into this, and it just makes it all the more astounding. I mean, first there was stealing the blueprints, then there was installing the high strength door locks on all the entrances and exits, not to mention the side-task of acquiring all those locks. Then there was the media, Planting the fake E-mail trail to get the idea rolling for the first day to be Camera Free, so that nobody but Nobody outside the center has any idea what’s going on. That should have red flagged somebody. But. It. Didn’t. I know these people are idiots, that their frontal lobes are so gunked up as to be borderline nonfunctional, But Man oh man, to have all this go off 100% according to plan. Its Just Mind-blowing.

God I’m awesome. That’s the only way to say it. I am truly, the only light of intelligence to shown out against these bozos. I double check all the security cameras, making sure that everything is up and running, especially the record box. Got all the video streaming onto my hard drive, plus a backup disk just in case. If things keep up at this rate, I’ll have a new addition to add to my greatest capers collection. Oh, hell, who am I kidding? They are all Great.

Time to Go meet my adoring hostages. I take the ladder up to the roof, running through my speech again to make sure its all set up. A detachment of my Spartan Soldiers comes along to, breaking through the skylight and repelling down ahead of me. I follow suit, my finger producing a thick cord of liquorish for me to make my entrance. Thought about getting spotlights for this part, but the convention centers power gird couldn’t have handled that much of a drain. That, and it might be kinda tacky.

“Attention Jackanapes!” I shout out, nice and loud. The crowd is almost silent, no doubt stunned with fear as the horror of the situation dawns upon them, being trapped in my sinister clutches. “Yes, yes. It is indeed me, Jawbreaker, who now stands before you. Greetings and Salutations. Take pride in knowing that you are all my prisoners” Concern washes over their faces. The soft roar of thousands of whispers all murmuring to one another quickly fills the room. “But” I interject, letting the anticipation hang in the air “Have no fear! I am simply here to sample the new releases, try out some of the counsels, and of course, show you alleged expert gamers that your so called skills are NOTHING! And you all get to watch me do it, isn’t that-”

“Why the Hell should we do that!?”

My eyes dart through the crowd, spotting the perpetrator who thought to speak out against me. I raise one hand, a small gumball forming on the tip of my finger, before firing just like a bullet, right through his kneecap.

“I! AM! TALKING!”

He goes down, screaming and cursing and bleeding everywhere. God, this guy is annoying. I nod to two of my sholders, who wade into the crowd. One good thump with a Spartans candy boot and he’s out like a light. I look around at the crowd again, daring someone else to say anything. To say just one word.

They don’t. Much better.

“Right, now. As I was saying. You all get to watch me play these games, and kick your simpleton brains to the sidewalk and back. I’d ask if there are any questions, but you morons don’t have the capacity to do more than stand there and gawk, so I won’t bother. We’ve got a lot to get done, and we’d better get started.”

Nobody movies. Typical. I raise my finger to the group, my soliders brining up their firearms at the same time. “I’M.. WAIT-ING!”

That gets them moving.

[Missy Tech]

" Allright Kanti... it's Go-Time! Guyver on!"

* And with that... the process starts, Kanti's form slithering out of my backpack and wrapping around my body like a big, bio-mechanical sweater... if a sweater wasn't ugly, scratchy, or helped you gain untold levels of PWNAGE! Well... there IS that prickly little sensation as he moves across my body... but that's fleeting and doesn't hurt...*

*halfway tickles actually. Like a caterpillar.*

* All the while I'm getting changed I have to sit back and listen to this pink abominations battle plan. Said something about Jawbreakers... used some boring words... and told everyone that the whole reason for her being there was to play the games before everyone else.*

*... that is the stupidest plot this side of Twilight that I have ever herd... she has to ruin the convention for EVERYONE just so she can play the games first???*

* Oh... I am SO going to enjoy Pwning this BITCH!!!*

* The process is just about complete... my new sweater going from a mushy fabric to a cloth-like metal. The transformation finishes as my new helmet forms around my head... my Visor and faceplate being the last two peices to go. With Kanti locked and loaded, we are ready to kick-ass and chew-up princess bubblegum!*

* and considering the screaming I'm hearing... not a moment too soon!*

* I sneak back out... poking my metal cranium out behind the blinds to survey the area. Well... all the spartans have everyone else huddled up... two of thoes jerks beating up one guy on the floor while Princess Lolly up there barks orders at everyone else.*

*OK... time for a little scanning to see what I'm up against and... wait. This is weird. Thoes Spartans aren't giving off any body heat. Waitaminute... the smell of strawberries from earlier. This things are CANDY DRONES!*

* No pilots means I don't have to watch my punches.*

* Sweetness*

* Kanti practically giggles with joy as I bring the blasters up... charging them up to full capacity. Don't want to risk not pwning these candy canes in one shot. Once I'm ready the thrusters come on... shooting me up towards the ceiling like a bottle rocket. And it's only natural that thoes two jerks are the first to be going down! targeting two of thoes candy coated criminals... and opening fire down upon them. I blast off the one guys head... and literally Disarm the other, my rallying cry echoing over the stadium.*

"EPIC DOUBLE-HEADSHOT!!!"

* Okay... that wasn't entirely accurate... but hey, it's an AWESOME battlecry.*

* We cut the power... and I fall down... landing all heorically and epic on top on one of the dealer tables... Right across from where this black-licorice loving floozy is standing.*

"Listen up Skittles!"

* Kanti is kind enough to boost my voice as I rise up... picking up a Guitar hero controller as my hands leave the table.*

"Right now you got two choices; You can either call off your goons and get your pink-striped candy ass OFF the stage..."

* I bring my newly acquired toy up... pointing it straight ahead at this candy-themes peice of con-crashing jail-bait like it where an actuall weapon... trying to put emphasis on the kind of Pwnage she's about to receive.*

"or you can get ready to Taste the PAINbow!"

* Now... I'd expect her to start monologing right now... like all the bigbads do... but no. She starts throwing a tantrum, pouting about how this was so well planned and I'm ruining it. OMG... If I could, I'd be forming a big sweatdrop right now. Actually... I wonder if I can't get Kanti to do that. Mental note: talk to Kanti about sweatdrops. Anyways.... I cross my arms... the GH controller still in my hand, as I say as deadpanedly as possible.*

"Your a total Noob to the Villain gig... aren't you?"

* Man I wish someone would be recording this right now... I've only shot two things and I am PWNING!!!*

*NOW she starts monologing... you know... the same old Supervillain stuff. Don't know who I'm dealing with.... innate superiority... not worth her time... bla-de-bla-bla-bla... it's like she's reading off a teleprompter. Then she moves on up to movie villainy and threatens the hostages... tells me I've got to disarm or her goons start shooting.*

* Huh... maybe I shoulda thought my plan of attack out better. Time to pause.*

* I bring the guitar hero controller down to my side... and stare right ahead at this candy coated con crasher...*

"Sooo... wait... you want me to strip... HERE? In front of EVERYBODY? WTF??? What kind of a pervert are you??

* Of course the mere mention of the possibility of a mecha-babe stripping in front of everyone gets the typical reaction it would to a room full of pimply-faced virgins. I hear some cat calls... and some pleas to do it... and I think someone just quoted Princess Leia's recording from A New Hope.... *

" Yeah... sorry Licorice Lass... but FYI, Missy don't swing that way."

* And I get a collective 'awww' from the audience. They really aren't helping their cause any. I'm halfway tempted to listen to Kanti's suggestion... but that's not what a hero would do. I have to divert my attention away from Pixie Stick over there to remind him of that.*

"*sigh* No Kanti... as much as we'd like to we can't shoot the hostages... that isn't heroic... "