Because it's the season for merry-ment! (OPEN!)

[N.P.C.]

(NPC is Morph)

Strutting my stuff in the inner demension, and hitting on the ladies, I just couldn't resist making a ham of myself on stage.
I mean... come on!!! This is just TOO easy!
As the music starts, I move through the lyrics, chaning into different lacey pretty things as I do for a better effect.


((To the tune of 'walking around a winter wonderland', of course))

Lacy things, the wife is missin'
Didn't ask, her permission
I'm wearin' her clothes
Her silk pantyhose
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear

In the store, there's a teddy
Little straps, like spaghetti
It holds me so tight
Like handcuffs at night
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear

In the office there's a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown
He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say, "Whoa Man!"
"Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"

Later on, if you wanna
We can dress, like Madonna
Put on some eyeshade
And join the parade
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear

Lacy things- missin'
Didn't ask- permission
Wearin' her clothes
Silk pantyhose
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear

[Punisher]

Not exactly a fan of christmas, but it didn't hurt that I had just finished off a few muggers earlier tonight. And doing it wearing the red suit from an even earlier job of shooting up some drug dealers from pushing 'snow' help to lighten me up...a little. But it still took a fifth of whisky before getting the nerve to get on stage, still wearing a blood-soaked Santa suit. Seemed appropriate.


Down in the workshop all the elves were making toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye
"Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night Saint Nick went insane
Realized he'd been getting a raw deal
Somethin' finally must've snapped in his brain

Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers, and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbecued Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said "It tastes just like chicken!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now, ya can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts

There's the National Guard and the FBI
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
and helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flying the body count's rising
And everyone’s dying to know -"Oh Santa, why?"
My, my, my, my, my, my - you used to be such a jolly guy.

Yes Virginia, now Santa's doing time
In a Federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey little friend now, don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out on good behaviour in seven hundred more years.

But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Claus she's on the phone every night
With a lawyer negotiating the movie rights.
(They talk about)

The night Santa went crazy
The night Saint Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of getting gypped

Wo, The night Santa went crazy
The night Saint Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' the wrong deal
Somethin' finally must've snapped in his brain
Wo, Somethin' finally must've snapped in his brain
Tell ya, somethin' finally must've snapped in his brain.