Fracture (Tag Kami)

[Kami]

As I walk past, Alice says she didn't mean it.
I feel a little rush of relief, just as I did when she started crying in the med-bay.
She doesn't want me dead, she doesn't hate me.
That, right there, is all I really want.
But of course, things aren't over yet.
I hear Dr. McCoy and Mr. Summers discuss that he will be in the room, and I cringe a bit, but there's no real help for it.
His presence in the back of the room is something I can feel, but I try my best to put it to the back of my mind as Scott starts showing us the damages of our actions.
Easier said than done though, wearing his lab-coat, I feel smothered in his presence.
The Youtube video actually stings to watch/hear, and I have to hold myself from glancing to see the look on Dr. McCoy's face for it.
Just ignore he's in the room....
Scott's lecture makes that easier, his words about having to deal with this now, our comfort being gone, striking something in me.
I'm sure it's not his intention, for his words to free me, and Dr. McCoy wasn't supposed to be here... but it does.
It's not my turn to speak yet, but I feel... vindicated somehow.
As Scott continues, telling me to hand over my image inducer, I don't even hesitate.
It's the part of having to get a check up with the Doctor, that stings at all, and I look away at the words, so he can't see just how bad that will be for me.
I'm not sorry.
I'm not.
No amount of extra training with Wolverine is going to change that. Being confined to the grounds, isn't going to change that.
When Scott says no one was hurt or killed, I didn't feel happy for that fact, it didn't matter at all, I don't care.
As my mind taunted me on the way in, If this were Apoc' times we wouldn't be here getting our asses chewed.
I don't care about the damages to Frisco.
I'd like to think it might be some measure of shock affecting me, as it's obviously affecting Alice, or perhaps my lingering concussion, but I don't feel it like that.
Scott's right, every word he says is correct. For this time, and this reality.
And More now than ever, I feel like I don't belong on this Earth.
This is not my time, not my place.
If it were, I'd care. It would mean something to me.
The only thing that strikes any chords in me is Alice's words to Scott.
I should probably let him respond, he's in charge and all, but I don't care... Let him punish me for butting in... it doesn't matter to me now.
What matters is my best friend falling apart beside me, every word from her mouth making me shake my head.

"Stop it Alice.
Stop self-destructing.
Scott is right, what happened to us wasn't fair.
But it's over now. Everything is back again.
You're not a monster.
You regret the killing, you're ashamed.
If you were a monster, you wouldn't feel that."

She'd feel nothing... like me...

"So just stop it.
It's not true, no matter how it feels right now.
If you feel sorry about any of this, follow Mr. Summers' punishment.
Rebuild what we destroyed.
Show Frisco that Graymalkin is a place for heroes, not villains in training.
Work this off, so when I get back, you can keep your promise to me.
And don't think I'll forget it either.
You will be my roommate as soon as it's physically possible for both of us again."

I shake my head, looking up at Scott finally.

"As for myself...
It's not enough.
Training with Wolverine, staying on Graymaklin property.
Where I am 'now' from, that's not punishment to me.
My new physical condition requires high levels of physical activity. And I only leave this place to go to the liqueur store."

I only look away from the red of Scott's glasses, to turn, giving Dr. McCoy a full 'once over' his entire form.
The good scientist, the hero.
Not my Master.
I can't help shaking my head at it.
They just don't have what it takes to truly punish me in this time.
I look back into Scott's glasses, keeping eye contact with him isn't easy, but I hope it shows my sincerity,

"Mr. Summers, I want you to turn me into the Frisco Authorities."

I hold my hand up, to indicate I can explain, and with just one dread thought on Dr. McCoy seeing this giving me hesitation, I hit a succession of buttons on my collar, and it comes unlatched, falling into my hand so I can show it to Scott.

"Under normal circumstances the Frisco correctional system couldn't hold me.
But I can give you the key to that issue.
This collar is attuned to my specific DNA.
It can do many things to me.
But the only thing anyone needs to know about is that it can suppress my active powers.
I've been using it to keep from kinetically tearing things up in my sleep over my nightmares.
Turn me in publicly Mr. Summers, put the collar on me on national television.
Let the people see you depower me, putting me at their level.
I will endure any sentence the judge sees fit to give me."

I take my eyes off Scott's red glasses, to look at the floor,

"When time skipped a beat, I spent months in a cage, experimented on, tortured, abused mentally and physically.
There is nothing that Frisco's prison system can do to me, that will compare to that."

Even going to jail, isn't going to feel like a punishment to me. It'd be a vacation by comparison.
Getting away from the people I have to fake being my old self around, being in a cage by myself, would actually be a blessing in some ways.
But the act of taking off my collar, hurts.
Letting Cyclops touch it, feels like betrayal of the worst kind.
Letting someone other than my Master physically collar me for the world to see...

Now that's punishment.

[Cyclops]

For a moment neither girl speaks. Neither wants to address what they had done. And honestly, it didn't really matter. The damage is done, no matter what the reason or excuses. Both girls could have sat there in total silence or raised Hell and with wouldn't make a difference at this point. That is, until Alice speaks first. She tries to take the blame for the incident, trying to keep Sheena from getting in trouble. A nice sentiment, considering she almost killed the very person she's defending. And it would have been nicer if she had just stopped at that. Instead, something in her voice changes, and the words become less sentimental. She works to get a raise out of me by calling me names and challenging my authority. She wants me to lash out at her. A notion I might consider if it wasn't for Sheena's quick interruption. The voice of reason. The assurance of a friend. And certainly better words than I would have said if she hadn't spoken up.

When Sheena then addressed me, she states her own case. She doesn't need to, though. I've notice the changes in her, not just physical. The with drawl, the numb look in her eyes, and drinking problem, as if I hadn't noticed the scattered empties in various spots. All the more reason why she needs to stay here: for help and for her own safety. So when she volunteered to be turned over the authorities, a warning bell goes off in my head. Every instinct tells me that that would be a mistake. Not only would she be at the mercy of the federal judicial system, but she could be walking into a death trap. Not to mention she has accessed an untapped amount of power inside of her. Power that can be dangerous if left unchecked. And yet, she makes her case, even showing me the collar she's been wearing since...

"Are you sure this is what you want to do? If you go to jail, you'll be on your own for who knows how long. Do you think you can take it."

She gives the tough girl speech to let me know this is what she wants. And knowing what has happened to, I know she speaks the truth. I don't remember the circumstances, but in the darkest of my memories, a single image of her in a cage lingers in my mind. No sounds, no other images, no reasons. Just a single creature, alone and broken. I keep asking myself if this is the safe person I remember. I take the collar from her hands, and can tell from her body language that it is like taking a limb from her. I look at the collar, and then again at her. And a sinking feeling comes creeping into my gut. Something...I don't want to feel. Cause I know where it's coming from...

"Alright. I'll make the arrangements. In the mean time I want you to go with Dr. McCoy back to the med-lab for an examination. We won't turn you over until you've recovered from your ordeal and we have the results of the tests. In the mean time, I strongly suggest that the both of you consider where we are right now. And what's about to happen. Because I promise you, things ARE going to change, whether we want them to or not. That's all."

I don't watch as they leave my office. My gaze is focused on Sheena's collar. I hate these things. They were invented by scared men to do evil things to a group of people they don't understand. Now I have to do the same to one of my own, so the scared men have someone to blame. It sickening. But what choice do I have? If I keep her here, she could hurt someone or start another fight. But that can happen in jail as well. What do I do?