Fracture (Tag Kami)

[Conduit]

* Thursday's suck.*

* I mean Monday in of itself is bad even for school-kids, but Thursday... this predecessor to the Weekend never does want to finish. First half of the school-day went by slow enough... now it's lunchtime, and I can't locate Alice anywhere. She hasn't quite been herself all day... with what happened last night I know how subconscious uses of your powers can weigh on you... thought I could at least try to cheer her up but.... she'd disappeared. Well... guess I'm on my own today. No big or anything. She's free to do her own thing, not like I own her or anything.*

* Still... these benches do get kind of lonely.*

* Just sitting, gnawing on my 2nd slice of pizza and drinking my soda. Then all of a sudden.... it starts. Tremors... small at first... but then growing in intensity and frequency. While I already know that the possibility of earthquakes was part of the deal with our moving out to California... does not mean I'm expecting them, or that it makes them any less scary! Other students are scurrying around... scrambling to follow what we practiced in the earthquake drills. Basically get into the school and don't step out until it stops.*

* in the confusion, I don't bother to stop and think about the thunder accompanying this... especially on a clear day.*

* I take cover in the comesary... the vibrations outside dampened as I pass the threshold. Inside, there are TV's all tuned in to local stations for damage reports. All the students standing and gawking as I move in... trying to find Alice in the crowd. I mean I'm sure she's ok... short of a mountain falling on her I don't think anything could seriously hurt her, let alone some little earthquake.*

* While trying to suck down the last of my pop to try and douse my nerve... I'd just glanced out of the corner of my eye at the TV.... blurred since it's not covered by my glasses.... prompting me to double take back. And I find her....*

* ...Ripping up Frisco Live on the air...*

* My initial reaction is spewing the mouthful of carbonated beverage back out... only not out the same orifice, as it flows up through my nose of all places. I'm not even bothering to notice the burning sensation of bubbles in my sinuses, my eyes just locked up at the screen... watching my girlfriend, half naked, playing Monsters vs Aliens on live television. My heart's literally pounding out of my chest... my mind racing.... god... what... what would posses her to do something like this? Then I see something moving around her... like a angry hornet buzzing around its nest. I let a relieved sigh out... okay... she's just defending herself... that's all... but then they zoom in. KAMI? Alice is fighting KAMI!?!?!*

*... what... what the hell is going on....*

* I turn... trying to get out of the comissary... try to find a member of the staff. I make it to the doors and I'm moving back out... only to run past Kat on her way in. She knows... she's enjoying it... she doesn't say anything... she doesn't have to say anything... it's plastered all over her face. That snide, happy little smirk like a cat who ate the canary. I don't stop, I just turn and point at her... growling back as I cross over into the hallways.*

" Shut up Bitch."

* She says something... I don't care to listen to it, I'm halfway down the hallway... trying to get to the hangers. The staff has got to know about it with those creepy sisters, their going to try to put a stop to this... I... I have to get down there.... I have to try and talk her out of this before she gets hurt! I come around a corner when it suddenly feel like I ran face-first into a brick wall. I fall back to the ground... a mix of gasping and coughing from a combination of my running as hard as I was, and the wind being effectively knocked out of my sails... still dazed... I try pushing myself back up... only for a gloved hand from our Guidance counselor, wearing a green and white costume, to help me back up.*

[glow=yellow,2,300]"Woah there string bean. We got enough students runnin' around gettin' inta trouble now, just relax. We'll bring tha gals home."[/glow]

* I'm still messed up as I stand....or at least try to. I still don't know WHY she has to call me that! Either way... I don't have time to deal with annoying nicknames... I've got to get to the hanger... as I halfway stumble forward.*

"bu... but I *cough* ... I gotta be t... be there... I... I can... I can help.... I just..."

* I don't take one step before she stops me... *

[glow=yellow,2,300]"Ya can help by bein' here when we get back.
This plane can only carry so much, an we need ta bring Alice home safe.
There's no room for more passengers Sugah." [/glow]

"B...but... but..."
* I stammer... my eyes starting to swell... I don't know whether from pain from the collision or the lack of oxygen. But she doesn't seem to want to hear it, sternly re-affirming what she just said.*

[glow=yellow,2,300]"No buts. Ah gotta go help dig those gals out." [/glow]

* she then puts her hand on my shoulder, looks me in the eye, tries to re-assure me with a smile*

[glow=yellow,2,300]"Ya'all need ta stay here and get ready for their return.
Ah got a feelin' it aint gonna be pretty." [/glow]

* Before turning, and literally taking off down the hallway. I just stand there... slowly catching my breath. That dry, burning sensation in my throat drowning out the aftermath of my nose problems, all the while my stomach sinking lower and lower. I... I can't just sit on my hands and watch this happen... when I was at my lowest, Alice was there for me... there's more than one way to get in to Frisco. Need to get to the garage... grab one of the school's vehicles and drive in there... I bust out the front door, ready to cut across the campus when I run into another wall entirely... one not even tangible.... but it's there none the less.*

"I Hate you!"

* Her voice explodes like a clap of thunder.... a massive sonic-boom that just... washes over the area as if it where right overhead... despite the distance. Moments later one final tremor hits, knocking me down to my knees... a mixed ball of feelings from helplessness to horror churning inside of me. The voice I just herd.... I... I know it's Alices... but... all the anger and hate inside of it.... it sounded nothing like her. Kami is her roomate... she and her are like sisters.... what.... what could possibly compel her to.... do do something like this?*

* It takes a few moments to register.... my mind weighed down so much by what I just herd, that I haven't noticed what I don't hear...*

* Silence*

* a dead silence that just... echoes through the couryard.... it's.... it's like I'm all alone out here. I hate it. Before.... with the tremors and the thunder ... I at least knew there was something happening, but... but now... she could be laying dead somewhere... or worse. Every second of this silence... every second of not knowing.... it goes by like.... like a lifetime.... *

* ... I hate it... *

* I'm barely able to push myself up.... just.... just feeling completely drained of energy... as I turn around, start heading back to the Med-bay. Rogue was right... I.... my place is here....*

" Please god... let her be alright.... let them both be allright."

[Cyclops]

The hallways had the usual chatter going on as a strolled to one of the sitting areas close by my office. I had finished the mountain of paperwork early for once, and had completed my chores for the day already. So amazingly enough I was in good spirits at the moment. My smile was met with kind greetings from those around me and had sparked some nice conversations. It seemed like I had no time anymore to actually connect with the students here, so I was really enjoying myself. But true to our nature, the Cuckoos alerted me telepathically with some news that instantly killed my good mood.

“Mister Summers, Kami and Alice are currently tearing through downtown and headed for the shoreline.”

“Who are they fighting against?”

“Each other, sir. It appears their demons are coming out and spilling all over the pavement. You better get down there before people start questioning what their confessing to each other.”

Shit. I was afraid of this. I knew when I chose to go this course that things would eventually get a bit rocky. But like this? God, I hope no one gets caught in the middle of this. If anyone gets hurt, or God forbid dies because of this…

I send out an emergency message to those that would best be able to quell this mess before it got worse, and tell them to meet at the Blackbird. I also alerted Hank to prep the medlab. After the orders were issued, I quickly moved to the hanger. Along the way, I past several television sets and see through the corner of my eyes that the local news was covering this already. And why shouldn’t they? Two young, inexperienced mutants tearing through a major city? Our P.R. is being crushed under Alice’s gigantic feet.

Once I reached the hanger, I made sure everyone needing to go was inside, and those that didn’t need to be near the hot zone to remain at the complex. There were a few students that were more than curious to see the action first hand. I had to compose myself and keep my boiling anger towards the two girls from spilling over to the excited students. But seeing how their fighting had so rallied the students only added to the irresponsibility of their actions, and made me even more disappointed. But just as I was sending the students away, we all felt the same thing: a shockwave coming from downtown. I clinch my teeth as my heart skipped a beat, and prayed that that wasn’t a huge explosion. Either way, time was running out.

As soon as everyone was strapped in, we made off towards the shoreline. It took a few minutes to get to our destination, and we were just in time. It looked as though Alice was going to squish Sheena into the sand. I send the flyers out first to try and stop her from succeeding, as I landed the bird nearby and pile out with the others. I dart down the beach and stop right underneath Alice.

“ALICE! STAND DOWN NOW! IT’S OVER!”

Now was not the time to be gentle. This had gone on far enough. These two had torn through the streets of San Fran and left a wave of destruction behind them. And soon the local police and several news crews quickly surrounded our position, bringing another damaging blow these two have cause: our credibility was on the verge of being shattered. So once the two banged-up brawlers were being tended to, I tried to maintain some sense of order by speaking to the police and making a quick statement to the press. It was barely an attempted at mending this gaping wound and would require a Hell of a lot more work, but for the moment it would have to do. We had people get bring home.

[Kami]

I should have let her kill me.
Even through the pounding in my head, I hear Cyclops yell at Alice to stand down, and I wonder, is she really coming for another shot?
I can't move, at all...
Her last blow was a killing move. Alice wants me dead.
I've ruined everything... I drove my best friend away.
I don't know if I black out... or what, but the next thing I know, Rogue's pulling me out of the sand, and it's making my head spin so much I feel like I could be sick.
She helps me onto the jet, and goes to help secure Alice for such a ride.
Her comment on securing Alice makes my stomach turn.
I know she's not dead... but is she going to be alright?
I exploded in her face... instead of getting out all the negativity we were holding in, did I just make it all that much more worse?
I still love her... the thought of her wanting me dead hurts so much I can't even let myself focus on it.
Not that my brain is alowing for much focus to begin with. Going through a wall head first... has left me with some damage.
I was hosed down with a hydrant, then pounded into the sand, my fur is starting to feel like a body cast, and every bit of my body hurts.
And... it's all about to get much much worse.
We're going to have to be taken back to Graymalkin, and... to the med-bay...
Where Dr. McCoy will be waiting, to give us medical attention.
His first look of my new mutation up close... and there's nothing I can do to avoid it.
I wrap my tail around myself, covering my head, fighting the dizziness and nausia the entire ride.
Rogue has to help me all the way to the bed in the med-lab, my injuries making movement Hell.
But, as I mentioned before, I should have let Alice kill me. It would have been much much easier than this...
I can hear Dr. McCoy giving instructions, and it takes allot of blinking to clear my vision enough to see that it's Sidney attending him... in my place...
The knife that turns in my stomach, seeing my position filled so easily, and more acurate... Sidney's a healer, he should be Dr.McCoy's assistant....
The scent of the Doctor himself makes my head pound even harder.
I don't want to be here.
Just being right here, right now, with no way to run from this scene, hurts more than any injury I've sustained.
Seeing Alice brought in behind me, hurts.
I did all of this to her... I deserve her hate.
They should just drop me in a cage, let my healing factor fix this.
But, I don't get that option, so if this is going to go by fast, I need to speak up on a couple things.
Having trained as Dr. McCoy's assistant, I do know a thing or two on medical... even if I lack Sidney's power to heal others.
I raise my right hand, the one I broke on Alice's stomach, to get attention while I still have enough mind to speak,

"Doc.... Doctor McCoy... My second mutation has a low-level heal..... healllll.... ing..."

It takes a moment, the pain in my head just getting worse, making my words fade into a moan of pain, as I fight to think through it,

"I need my hand reset quickly, before... it heals wrong..."

I just barely manage to grab a bed pan off the tiny metal table next to bed, managing to get sick without making even more of a mess. I spit into the pan before setting it down, collapsing on my side on the bed, leaving room for my tail to cover me and obscure my view of the room, and those attending as Doctors and assistants.

"sssSigns of major concusssssion..."

I should have let her kill me.

[Girlzilla]

There was silence.

There was a Terrible Silence

There was nothing except a terrible, aweful, ghastly, crushing silence.

Everything was still, the world had stopped spinning and come to a halt. There we're no waves crashing against the beach, no far off sirins closing in. No gulls crying out for scraps of garbage to feast on. Everything was silent. The most unbearable silence ever imaginable.

I didnt know what to do, as I stood there, looking down. What have I done? Oh god, what have I done. I was angry, furious. Over what? I don't even know any more. Kami...No, I couldnt have. It was an accident. No it wasnt. I knew what I was doing. I knew exactly what I was doing, every step of the way. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I felt sick and wanted to throw up. But nothing happened. Everything was still and silent.

I think....I think I just killed Kami.

Words from outside come into my ears, but there not real. Just whispers. Nothing more than noise. It dosnt matter. Nothing matters. The only thing that matters is laying dead in the sand below my feet.

I killed her

I killed her

I killed her


Everything that is or was or could be comes crashing down on me so hard, it feels like my legs break from under me. I fall over, feeling numb and cold. What have I done? Ive made mistakes. So many mistakes. Everything I have ever done, it was all just one big mistake. Somewhere, I hear a voice telling me to just stop. Its a good idea. I'll lay down on the sand, and stop. Stop thinking. Stop feeling. Stop Breathing.

The world around me starts moving again, and its going to fast for me to keep up. People come rushing by, faces that I recognize but cant put a name to. Words are being shouted at me, but they are just words.They dont mean anything. Im told to move, but I cant. I couldnt move from this spot even if you gave me a hundred thousand years. More noise, yelling at me. Good, I deserve it. They tell me to shrink down, and I submit without arguing. There no point to argue Some eventually carries me. More noise, nothing but noise. Questions, lots of questions. I give the only answer that matters.

"I killed her"

Over and over, thats the only thing I say. Its the only thing that matters. Eventually we wind up back at a familiar place. Not home, I dont have a home. I dont deserve a home. The school, I think. I cant tell. More moving, so much noise. The med bay. Blue, warm, fuzzy. Lights, people talking. I see Kami, laying on a table. She's moving a little, I can here her talking.

But I know thats not possible. She's dead, it was all my fault.

I killed her

I killed her

I killed her.

[Beast]

Its only a matter of moments between Hawthorne's timely arrival, and the Kami and Alice's entrance....as well as Chris's as well...Presumably he's here to offer comfort or support, but I pretty much put him out of my mind entirely as I focus myself into being a good medic for those that need it. Assessing matters with coolness and professionalism.

Both of them are pretty thoroughly beaten, but its obvious that Kami by far recieved the worst of it. Not only is she bleeding fairly steadily from a myriad of wounds, but its aparent from the way she's holding her arm that its broken in at least one place...and probably her ribs too...She's going to take some work to fix up.

Alice is the less injured of the two, and I take that as my cue to deal with her first. Best to get her taken care of so I can focus my full interests on Sheena.

I gesture for Sidney to follow me as I move to where Alice is laid out, examinging the cool expression on her face, as distance that I've learned from long expeirence is shell shock. She seems to be muttering something to herself, but I don't quite make it out.

Instead of dwelling on that though, I shine a penlight in her eyes, checking for dilation and not finding any. That just leaves the nose, and her various other scrapes and such. Easy enough.

"Alice, you're at the institute now. I'm going to fix your nose okay? After I do that, your friend Sidney will heal you fully with his abilities, while I move onto Kami's more critical injuries. You should both be fine in no time, at least until Scott gets his hands on you..."

the last is said with a quirk of a smile. Cyclop's bark is generally worse than his bite...but it doesn't make me envy the kids for the chewing out they'll be getting....

With little further ado, I reach under Alice's bed, selecting a specially designed forceps, whose technological basis comes from a small time villain named 8-Ball. Simply put, they act as a force multiplier, taking my initial, and not inconsiderable strength, and increasing it by an order of magnitude, which is quite nessecery in setting a broken nose on a mutant with superdense cell structure.

The opperation itself is simpl. I just grip her nose with the device, and then pull firmly downward, hearing a telltale crack as the cartilidge settles into its proper orientation.

After that I stow the tool for later cleaning, and then provide her with some cotton gauze to stop the bleeding.


"Sidney, I need you to heal her superficial injuries, and make sure that her nose sets properly. I'm going to go work on Kami now..."

So much for the easy one...

I make my way across to where Kami is lying, noting the readouts on her bed with a good deal more concern than I had for Alice, only reinforced by the unusaly baselines I'm getting. Unfortunately, since her transofrmation Kami has been unwilling to provide me with specs for her secondary mutaiton, and that means there are a lot of unknown variables in her treatment.

Why do they always have to make this so difficult?

Nonetheless, I do what I can for her, listening as she explains her newfound healing factor, considering the information with care. It actually sounds remarkably like my own secondary mutation...albiet with a lesser degree of atavism. The healing factor might actually be a godsend...If I'm right...

The first order of business though, is her hand...and this one is going to hurt.

I reach out, gripping it firmly in one paw as I hold her wrist in the other, feeling her orange fur tickling against my palm...just before I pull hard, hearing a sound like a gunshot as the bone settles properly into place, baring my teeth slightly as her claws dig into my arm.

"You can let go Sheena...Its done...That part at least."

After that, all I need to do is bind her wrist with a wrist brace, and she's set for that, leaving me to deal with her other problems.

The other part, her rib, is slightly less of an issue. Theres a hairline fracture towards the sternum, but its a fairly minor injury. I settle for removing her top, and then taping it in place, ignoring her words of protest as I work coolly, more than used to treating injuries in the field. Though I'll admit most of the women I've worked on in the field would be lucky indeed to be half as...well proportioned as she is...

I use athletic tape to wrap around her ribcage, noting how the area is allready bruising heavily, so much so that its visible beneath her fur. She is going to be in a great deal of pain.

The last part is the hardest though...Her eyes are Very dilated, and she's got nausia. Thats almost definitely a heavy concussion, and I can't help with that. Thats going to take time and rest, along with careful monitoring.

Of course That doesn't mean Sidney can't be of help with matters...

"Sidney, I need you to do something for me. Kami here has a healing factor, much like Logan, but far less powerful. I think you should be able to help her boost it. I want you to focus on that with your healing, see if you can boost her natural abilities. She's going to need to heal, and thats going to take some time, the less the better."

[Hawthorn]

I don't think I was in medbay more than a moment or two, when Alice and Kami were brought in, I also see Chris come in too he looks really concern about Alice hopefully he will stay to the side until Dr. McCoy and I are finished with attenting to Alice's and Kami's injuries.

Seeing Dr. McCoy motion for me to follow him, I pick up my things and quickly follow him over to Alice who looked like that she wasn't hurt to badly but bad enough.

I stand back and watch Dr. McCoy put Alice's nose back in place. I cringe a little at the sound once he was finished putting her nose in place, he takes out a cotton guaze placees under her nose to stop the bleeding. Then he says to me he needs me heal her superficial injuires and to make sure her nose sets properly. Then he walks over to Kami and works on her injuries from here It looks like she got the worst end of the deal.

Steping up to Alice she is still kind of muttering something not sure what. I'm feeling a little nerves, this is my first time I've ever used my powers on my mutant firends speaking softly to Alice, "Alice I need you to stay still and quite I'm going to heal your injuries."

With that said, gently placing my hands on Alice's superficial injuries first. Closing my eyes and I focus myself on healing the injures, going into a little trance, a moment later my healing powers kick in I move my hands over the injuries and they start to scab over for the cuts and disppaear and the bruies disppear after a few moments.

Once the superficial wounds are healed, I come out of the trance opening my eyes, bring up a hand to my face I kind of feel a little light headed, I quickly shake it off and then I very, very lightly set my hands on Alice's nose, again closing my eyes and repteating the process. It takes a little longer, to heal the nose, the bleeding stops, taking a moment longer to make sure her nose was set properly and healed. I open my eyes, and the room starts to spin whoa and I kind of lose my balance, I quickly catch it closing my eyes again I take in a couple of deep breaths and let them out slowly and I calm down. I quickly clean off the dried blood from Alice's nose.

I hear Dr. McCoy call for me to come over to where he was with Kami, he wanted me to do something for him saying that Kami has a healing factor like that of Logan, hmm name sounds familiar oh wait Dr. McCoy is talking about Wolvierine but her healing factor is far less powerful.

He thinks that my healing power should be able to boost her and wants me to focus on that with my powers and see if I can give Kami's natural healing powers a boost. And she will need to heal, it will take some time and the sooner the better.

That's quite a challenge for me I'm not sure if I can do it. No Sid you can do it never mind doubting yourself on this you wanted to prove yourself do it!

Nodded to Dr. McCoy I step up to Kami I smile softly at her, "Kami need you to stay still as much as you can I'm going to give you a boost with my healing powers."

Rasing my hands and over her chest area and gently place them over her chest, I hestiate for a moment never touched a girl before, shoving that to the back of my mind. Kami needs my help very, very lightly I place my hands on her chest, closing my eyes and focus my all my healing powers on Kami my bodys goes into a trance and I remain like this for several minutes or until I'm finished with giving Kami her boost.

[Conduit]

* It's taken me a while to make it back there.... It's, its not so much my running.... I've gotten better at that.... just, since I herd Alice's voice... since I herd her scream and the deafening silence afterward... I've just... just been totally drained... like I'm walking the green mile or I just ran over a puppy or something... I'm... I just feel totally spent. It feels like there are weights tied to my feet.*

* that and I... kind of got lost...*

* I get there and just sit in the waiting area.... to do just that... wait. Sidney and Dr. McCoy are so busy getting things ready that it's hard to tell if they even know I'm here. I'm just left here to stew... alone... staring at the floor and waiting for the cavalry to bring them in. It's like watching a tea-kettle boil... every passing second of the worst possible scenarios running through my head feels like an eternity... whether she'll be brought home safe.... or... or...*

* My hope doesn't improve any... considering the last time I was in here... *

* the sterile stench... the smell of tools clanking... the way the lights kinda flicker.... it's all the same even if we aren't even at the same address anymore... it all comes screaming back to that day... to the kidnapping. The only good thing to come out of that was... Alice and I getting together. It... it isn't right that I.... I could loose her in the same way.*

* I... I don't know why she did what she did.... I don't care... this... this isn't like her... she.... doesn't deserve this... please.... she is a beautiful, loving person.... please let her be safe.... please let her be alright....*

*...please...*

* It seems like I'm in a dead zone or something... me stuck in a little bubble while the world just passes by... just me staring at the floor... not able to hear anyone talking... barely able to feel the little tremors running through the floor... rhythmical poundings... almost like... footfalls?*

* Wait...*

* Like... a video playback I come back to reality... Kami's already laying down on an operating table... looking thoroughly beat to hell... and as I turn, I can see her, lead in by the guidance counselor. I weakly smile... relieved to see her still standing... but my heart sinks as I watch her lead to one of the waiting tables. She doesn't look too messed up... aside from cuts and bruises and the nose... but It's... it's like she isn't all there.... just blankly staring... and mumbling to herself.... the same thing... over and over....*

* Keeps saying "I killed her"*

*"I Killed her"*

* I just sit there as Dr. McCoy starts working on her... trying to comfort her as he pulls out some do-hickey for her nose. He tries to comfort her... but it doesn't help. She seems completely oblivious... dazed... just keeps repeating the same thing. Grandpa told me about this once.... when somebodies been through enough horror and trauma that they just loose touch with everything... it's called shell-shock. It sounds like... like she must think that during their fight she killed Kami.*

* I cringe as a loud crack echoes through the room after Dr. McCoy jerked on her nose... then leaves the rest to Sidney as he goes to help Kami. I get up, walking closer and watching him work... I give him plenty of room as he's using his powers to heal her up good as new. Most of her wounds at least. I can't help but feel my eyes start to burn as I see her laying like that... lost and confused and hurt.... *

* I'm at her side as soon as he's finished*

" Alice... can you hear me?"

* I lay my hand on hers... trying to give comfort even though I know she can't feel at this size.*

" It's alright Alice... I'm here... Kami's here.... it's alright..."

* I lean over the bed... my eyes still burning as they lock on to hers. I smile... weakly... finding myself choked up as I look down into her thousand yard stare...*

" she's alive Alice.... it's alright... Kami is alive."

* I just keep repeating myself... my voice trying to stay calm as I try to guide her out of this. She... she's just got to pull out of this.... she's got too...*

"... it's alright..."

[Kami]

((OOC: Skip Cyke a round, till we're out of the med-bay))

I don't want to be here...
Dr. McCoy finishes working on Alice, and comes over to work on my issues, and I close my eyes, as so many different emotions flow through me at once.
He grabs my wrist, and I will all my muscles to go limp as he sets the bone, the instant pain turning the backs of my eyelids to a pure white.
My mind is overwhelmed by the severe sensations, and I experience a floaty deja vu, something like this scene was done before... when he broke my tail, right before he... No. this isn't him.
All of my senses are filled with him right now, his fur on mine, his scent, the sound of his breathing, he's got his hands on me... and...
No. This isn't him.
It's so hard to think... or to keep control over my responses.
The sound I let out at the bone resetting is half pain, half ecstasy, and I am actually thankful that I'm covered in water, sand, and blood.
I smell worse than a wet dog this way, and it covers any telling scents.
The 'real' Beast trained me to take pain as pleasure. I am pretty sure that Dr. McCoy wouldn't understand.
His gentle voice telling me I can let go, does help to reinforce that he isn't him...
Beast would have smacked me upside the head for using my claws on him like that... Concussion, or not.
How many mild concussions did he give me?...
It's not him.
I have to concentrate on pulling my claws out of Dr. McCoy's arm.
My entire body is throbbing with 2 very extreme opposite spectrum of the sensory scale and every nerve is raw and on fire, every touch makes me want to fall to my knees in front of him begging for more.
He moves to take my top off, and I pull away on instinct.

"No, wait.."

It's not that he's taking off my shirt.
Hell, everyone in this room has already seen me naked... in that power-swap accident...
My protest here is that the more he touches me, the more I feel.
And I don't want to feel anymore.
Let alone let him touch me even more intimately...
Of course he ignores my protesting and moves to tape my ribs, and I have to hold my breath to keep from trembling, or moaning, or otherwise reacting in ways I don't want him to see.
The light he shines in my eyes to check for dilation helps rather well, shooting my headache up so high I gasp, letting the pain stop my brain from nit picking every part of this.
I can barely hear his words, giving Sidney orders to boost my healing factor, and Sidney's voice... I just hear the tone, I don't really understand the words.
Sidney moves his hands over my chest, and suddenly everything gets warm.
In my fight with Alice, I used my powers to such an extreme that I actually used all my energy, and Sidney's hands... the warmth... it seems to pushing energy into me.
It makes everything tingle, and I can feel my minor cuts and scrapes healing almost instantly.
I open my eyes after a moment, and see Sidney, in a trance above me.
Even though I could take allot more, I realize he's swaying on his feet, I'm draining him.
I grab his wrists, pulling his hands from my chest.
My hand is almost healed as well, it just tingles as I use it, not hurting as it should, considering how badly it was broken just moments ago.

"Th... thank you."

And it's a good thing my hand is almost healed... It seems breaking Sidney's trance allowed the exhaustion to reach his brain, and he collapses from it. I barely manage to keep him from hitting the floor, by keeping my grip on his wrists.
Of course, now, the hand is back to hurting from the strain.
I pull Sidney onto the bed, kind of... just dragging his torso over the edge, so he won't hit the floor, and to free my hand before we undo the healing we just accomplished on it.
I move my fingers and wrist around slowly, making sure it all still works, and is still set in place.
When I was Dr. McCoy's assistant, I prepped and cleaned all the tools, bandaged people up... I took care of all the minor things so he could focus on the major.
Sidney, as Dr. McCoy's assistant, is healing people.. really healing them.
I've been replaced.
Again.

"You did a really good job Sidney."

It's so hard to say it, even though it's the truth, that my voice comes out just barely above a whisper, the hollow feeling it leaves very clear in my voice.
I close my eyes, breathing a bit as it seems all the work is over, everything gets quiet.
Almost... quiet enough that I can hear Alice and Chris mumbling across the room.
It takes me a moment of concentrating on their words to catch what's actually going on there.
Alice thinks she's killed me... and Chris is trying to convince her that I'm alive, and everything's going to be all right.
My tail flicks a bit in irritation as I speak up loud enough for Alice to hear every word,

"Hey Alice, I know you meant to kill me, but it didn't work.
Try harder next time."

[Girlzilla]

I Killed Her

I Killed Her

I Killed Her

Dr. McCoy. He's here now, not sure when he got here, or I got to him. He's talking. Lots of people are talking. I wish they would stop. Its just noise. Annoying, unpleasent noise. Why cant they just be quiet? Don't they understand what has happened? The horrible, evil, unforgivable thing that I had done? Dr.McCoy is touching my face, looking at me. I stare right through him, indifferent to his presence. Someone else is here, Sidney I think. Dosn't matter. I wonder what they are doing. Certainly not trying to heal the injuries I'd recieved. That wouldnt make any sense

When something breaks to much, theres no way to fix it.

More touching, more talking. I Wish they would stop. If it we're quiet, I could just lay down and close my eyes, and fall asleep. I don't think I could possibly dream, not now, not ever. I'd just lay there forever and wait till everthing was still. The Doctor is poking at my nose alot. It hurts, a lot. Like being stabbed in the face. I don't even blink, I let it hurt. Perhaps, in some way, this makes everything better. Like penence. Ive done something so horrible, so unforgiable that the only thing I could do was suffer for it. Then Dr. McCoy gives a sharp tug, and I go blind.He Ripped my nose off. Thats the only explination, thats the only way it could hurt this much. Thats what he was doing. He was making me pay for what I had done. I wanted to beg him to stop, to push him away, but the only thing I can do is sit there and tremble in pain.

No. My nose is still there. The pain subsides, and I can manage to see streight again. Theres a terrible ache in my entire face, but its managable. I can see clearly, and I look around the room. On the other table, I see Kami, and I feel sick. But the momentary flash of her is blocked as Chris comes into my field of view. I was cought completly off guard. He was holding my hands, telling me that everything was going to be ok, looking like he was fighting to keep from having a breakdown of his own. I guess I can add that to another thing Im responsible for, bringing all this hardship on him.

On everyone. Thats all I do...I make life hard for everyone around me.

Then, I hear someone speaking, and I freeze. Kami...Kami is talking. No. No, that cant be right. She's dead, I killed her. I Killed her, I killed her, I killed her, killed her, killed her! I was sure. No. Stop it. Im just imagining her speaking. Trying to fool myself into believing everything was alright and back to normal. I'll look over and she'll be there, laying down, broken dead.

And when I look up, there she is, sitting there, looking at me. Kami...She's alive. I didnt...I didn't kill her.

Im crying. I don't know when I started, but I certainly cant stop. Im so relieved, so sorry, so overjoyed and so unbelievably filled with shame that I can't stop.

"Oh god Sheena...Im sorry...Im so sorry...Its all my fault. Im sorry.."

Shaking, I get up to my feet, my knee's barely able to keep me up. I start taking steps, one...then another, heading for the door.

"I'm going home"

I mumble the words. Its the only thing I can do. I'll leave this school, and go home. Nobody wants me here, not after this. Its all my fault. Everything.

"Im sorry...I don't deserve to be here."

I make it a few more steps before I just lose any control over my legs, and fall down on my face, sobbing harder than I ever had before.

Sheena's alive...I didnt kill her.

Ive never been so happy.

[Beast]

Okay...this is going better than expected. Sidney, although untrained, follows my instructions with surprising exactitude, healing them both rather well, even as the experience leaves him obviously drained, to the degree that he faints after healing Kami.

Generally speaking, healers have a bit more endurence than that, but I guess its understandable given his age, and inexperience. In any case we are in the medical bay...there are worse places to faint.

I move over to beside Kami's berth, picking the teenager up in my furry arms, and then carefully moving him over to one of the exam beds lining the walls, placing him there, and activating the equipment installed in it. Running a diagnostic scan to check on his condition.

Medically, he's fine. The experience just seems to have used up a large amount of energy from him. Decreased blood sugar, heightened levels of melatonin....he'll be fine after a nap and some food. I should really do some more testing with him though, establish a more exacting...

My thoughts are derailed by a sound behind me, the loud, telltale clang of a heavy object hitting the floor. A Very heavy object.

I turn to behind me, taking in Alice now on the floor, and in her very own dent mark. Wonderful...I'll need to replace that plating next...

From the sounds of things she's still quite irrational, disturbed by the earlier conflict, and possibility that she might have hurt her dearest friend. I can sympathyze with her distress, even as I know its unreasonable. Fights like this happen sometimes. They're to be expected in any situation where multiple superhumans occupy limited space for an extended time.

In any case, both of these girls are under my care, and that means they are not going Anywhere.

Moving up beside Alice, I place one hand on her shoulder, and then speak carefully, doing away with elaborate exposition in favor of a simpler message.

"Your friend is fine...and the chewing out which Scott is going to give you two aside, don't think that I haven't been in your exact spot. We X-Men have always been a passionate bunch...fights happen. Everyone came out fine, the city has a nice insurence policy to cover the damages, and you both learned something very important...You need each other..."

At this last I straighten up, rubbing my paws together as gather myself back into school teacher mode.

"Now personally, I'd prefer you both get a nights rest and plenty of chance to recover from your injuries...but Mr Summer's has it in mind to 'debrief' you two as soon as inhumanly possible...which means Now. Get yourselves together, and lets get this matter dealt. I'll be attending personally, just to keep an eye on both of you."

Walking back to my desk, I pause next to a bookshelf, and then extract a worn notebook from it, holding it loosely under one arm as I walk back to Sheena, giving it to her.

"Oh and Sheena dear, I forgot to give this to you earlier...I picked it up a few monthes back laying around the campus, but I keep missing you to give it back. I did some persusal of the contents..."

At this I smile, thinking of a certain song about a blue furred sicentist...

"And though the rock and roll phase is not my usual scene, it does seem promising."

As an after thought, I move back to the corner, pulling off one of my spare lab coats, and placing it on her bed as well.

"And this is so you don't catch cold being shirtless. I'm afraid a stop off at the dorms would be counterproductive at this point."

[Conduit]

* It... it doesn't look like I'm getting through to her. She just keeps saying the same thing... keeps staring up with the same glazed look in her eyes. My eyes burn worse by each passing second.*

"Come on Alice... don't give up on me... you need to pull thorugh... she...she's...."

* I'm suddenly cut off from behind... as a familiar voice rudely cuts me off. I turn to face her... listening to the biting words that she just spoke... telling Alice she should have tried harder. I'm... I'm just stare back at her... dumbfounded... tears trembling around my eyes. This didn't sound like Kami... so coldblooded and heartless... this sounds more like Kat talking than anything.*

* About the only good thing I can think of coming out of Kami's scathing words is Alice's response. She snaps out of it almost in an instant... and practically shoves me over trying to get up, apologizing to Kami with every tear-laden breath. As I push myself up... I see her hands trembling... she's built like the rock of Gibraltar yet she's trembling like a leaf. She keeps mumbling to herself... inching her way to the door... trying to follow Kami... but she can't keep her footing and falls flat on her face. She doesn't bother trying to get up... just lays there sobbing.*

* I try to rush over... but Dr. McCoy beats me there. I try to hold her hand as I just let him talk. He probably has more experience in stuff like this than I do. He's right... we're basically one big family... and in families fights happen. And this isn't just true of the X-men... but other teams as well. I've read plenty of times how the Thing and Johnny Storm have gone at it. You just need to take your licks and decipher the lesson your supposed to learn from either giving or receiving the beating.*

* "Never pick fights with jocks, even if you are a mutant" comes to mind*

* I just sit there, staying quiet as his lesson continues... holding Alice's hand as he gets to the part about a trip to the Principals office. The mere thought even makes me cringe. I can only imagine how bad it's going to be in there. When he's done... Moving off to his bookcase, Kami speaks up to Alice again. I try to cut her off... taking into mind how cold she was when she last spoke to her... I don't even look up when I speak...*

" Haven't you said enough today?"

*... it doesn't slow her down. She just ignores me and says her piece, saying that she had that coming, and Alice was the only one who could have done it. I'm not really sure how she meant that really... I don't know what started it... but if she's going to be this rude it wasn't kicked hard enough. Not much time to do so as Dr. McCoy returns to give a notebook back to Kami. That's when I take my cue*

" Don't worry Alice... I'll walk up to the office with you, if you want."

* Slowly... Alice manages to get to her feet, pushing herself out of the dent she left in the floor... and we walk down the hall. There isn't much said between us in-between the Med-bay and the elevator... she's still so shaken up by all of this. I stick as close as I can, but still giver her berth. One wrong step and she's going to have one more horrifying experience she doesn't need right now.*

* She's already leveled part of Frisco fighting with her best freind... she doesn't need to add squishing her boyfriend to the list.*

* When we make it to the elevator, I move ahead to hit the button to activate the door. Thing is, when we both get on, we get a beep. An alarm indicating we're beyond the weight capacity. Alice weakly tells me she's going to have to take this ride alone. I hesitantly nod and step back off. I'm facing the door, looking at her. For the first time I've known her she looks so... frail.*

* As I try to look into her eyes, trying to make eye contact, I do all I can at this point. Just before the doors close, I give a hopeful smile to try to raise her spirits... even if the melancholy tone of my voice kinda derails that.*

"... good luck..."

[Kami]

My words work beautifully, snapping Alice right out of her shock. Which is really what I was hoping for. Though, sadly, in snapping her out of it, I only made her feel worse.
Seeing the tears in her eyes, and watching her fall, actually makes me breath easier, no matter how it twists my insides at the same time.
She doesn't want me dead.
Until the moment she broke out of her shock to react, I thought I'd driven her completely away.
She meant to kill me, but she doesn't want me dead. I can take that.
I shake my head to what she says, as Dr. McCoy takes Sidney off my bed, and I try to speak up but I can't seem to get the words out quickly enough, and the doctor gets his speech in before I can choke anything out.
I can't say I'm paying much attention to his words, all my attention is on Alice, and it's all I can do to sit through what he has to say before butting in,

"Alice..."

Chris tries to cut me off, but I ignore him.
This wasn't about them. I don't care what they have to say.
This was between us, and it's obvious I'm not going to get a moment alone with her any time soon.

"It's not All your fault Alice. I pushed you. I needed my ass kicked, and you are the only one big enough to do it."

I might have had more to say, but Dr. McCoy walks up, and I glance at what he holds out to me, and I find my heart racing enough the bed's monitor lets out a noise of warning.

"My..."

I see him smile, as he says he perused the contents... complimenting my work, and feel myself flush, even though no one can see it with all my matted fur.
I haven't seen my notebook in almost a year now, but on sight I remember every scrap, every scribble.. every note...
All the time I spent trying to come up with words that rhyme with blue.
Sitting on the mansion grounds with my Axe and a pair of headphones, daydreaming about him taking me in his arms, reciting some literary reference to enhance the moment, as I scribbled things into the notebook.
It seems like a life-time ago now.
I take the notebook from him, staring at it,

"I... I lost this back at the Mansion. You held onto it all this time.."

I hold it to my chest, crossing my arms over it.
To the untrained eye perusing, it seems like nothing but scraps... But a song writer might notice that this is as personal as any diary entry.
There's things put into lyrics in this folder that I'd never speak about.
The 'real' Beast told me Dr. McCoy had thoughts about me, dreams even. He used the information as a tool to torture me, that there might have been something natural between us had the world not gone to shit...
The way Dr. McCoy comments, on a song I was obviously writing about him... makes me short of breath, remembering those taunts clearly.
Why does everything seem so surreal now?

"Thank you."

He drops one of his own spare lab coats on the bed, telling me it's so I don't catch a cold, and I snort a bit.

"I have fur. I wouldn't catch cold."

But I pull it on anyway.
Alice destroyed our room this morning, and that whole mess never got completely cleaned up.
I don't know if I have any shirts in my room... or how much rubble I'd have to go through to find them.
And I'm not going to Scott's office with my nipples showing...
I'm in enough trouble.
As I pull it on, I regret it immediately.
It's one of his coats, it smells like him.
I shut my eyes, inhaling his scent, remembering what it felt like to be in his arms, encircled in this scent every night, waking up to it every morning...
But. It wasn't him.
My heart rate is giving my emotions away, I can hear the bed giving some signal, and I get off of it so it'll stop.
My head starts throbbing again, I'd forgotten it was throbbing in the first place really. Sidney helped me heal allot.
I don't think my ribs are cracked anymore, my hand is almost 100%, my cuts are gone, the bruises are sore, and the concussion is still there.
Moving makes me nauseated, but I ignore it and start walking out.
I don't want Dr. McCoy to think I'm not up to this 'appointment' we have.
I'll do anything to get out of that bed right now. Even look Mr Summers in the eyes...
I don't speak on the way there, and I keep from looking directly at anyone as well.
If this was Apocalyptic time, we wouldn't be going to get our asses chewed.
One of us would have died, and I would be back in his bed, collecting my rewards for fulfilling orders...
Finally we get to Scott's office, and I nod to Alice just outside the door as I walk inside.

"Time to face the music."

[Cyclops]

Immediately after we land I headed for my office. There were already several people calling about the incident, many of which being reporters asking point-less questions with great redundancy. I recite the same brief statement to each caller that I gave to the reporters on the beach. No doubt they will give their own views of what happened, and that is unavoidable. Neither were the calls that were coming in from the mayor’s office, who wasn’t interested in the bare facts that I gave to the press. I had to listen for a good half hour as she informed me of the amount of damaged done, the costs and time to make repairs, the concerns of her office and the general public to the now ‘dangerous presence’ we bring just for being here, and worse yet, the option of bring the law in to handle the matter.

“Ms. Mayor, we are fully aware that the magnitude of damage is great. This is why our partners within Worthington Inc. have set up plans to provide the city with funding in case of such incidents like this. We discussed this before while we were setting our operations up weeks ago. We also agreed that when such incidents occur that involved mutants or other super powered individuals, we would provide enforcement and containment for them, as the city is not equipped with such means. So as far as dealing with legal matters are concerned, we will have to discuss this in more length in person.”

The mayor wasn’t too thrilled with some of the things I was pointed out, nor the options I was giving her. But eventually we came to some understanding that would last for the moment. It wasn’t ideal, but it would have to do. At least I talked her out of bringing the National Guard into this. I’d hate to have to send the soldiers away on stretchers. Finally I gained a break from the borage of phone calls to get an update on the girl’s condition from Hank. Thankfully they were recovering quickly from their injuries, because I wanted to speak with them as soon as possible. I relayed this to Hank, who tried to persuade me to wait until they fully recovered. I was in no mood to wait, and if they were able to stand and walk, they can make the trip up to my office.

After that I pulled up a quick internet search for any news on the incident. There were several reports on the local news sites, as well as a few sound bites from national news outlets. I print each story out and put them in a folder on my desk. Nothing too horrible, yet it was still bad for us, having two undertrained powerhouse teenagers rampaging through public streets. It was bad, but then I pulled something up that was recently uploaded to YouTube, and my blood immediately ran cold. Then I hear a knock at my door, and saw the girls waiting outside, accompanied by Hank. I motioned them to take a sit inside, yet stop Hank from entering.

“Whoa. Hank, I appreciate your concern for their well-being, but I’m afraid this is a private discussion. You’ll have to wait out here.”

I know Hank was objecting to my wanting to speak with the girls so soon after they’ve received treatment. Deep down, I knew that this could wait a day or two, maybe even give me a chance to cool down a bit. But right now I didn’t want to cool down. I needed to set these girls straight, about what they did, and what they’ve said. And Hank being in the room would only complicated things more. Unfortunately he wasn’t going to let up about being by their side. And I knew him too well to convince him otherwise, so I sighed and conceded.

“Fine Hank, you can be in room. But know this: consider every word spoken in this room falling on deaf ears. None of this is any of your concern. You are here to provide medical treatment only. Is that understood?”

With that said I let him in the room and close the door. Hank stood in the back, giving me some room so I could speak with the girls. I move around them, not taking my eyes off of them for a moment, and picked up the folder from my desk.

“Do you two see this? These are news reports that are being posted on the internet about your little scrap. I’ve read these, and they all say the same thing. ‘Stupid mutant teenagers endanger lives!’”

I slam the folder down and move around my desk so I stand facing them.

“Do you have any idea what the Hell you were thinking!?! You crashed through the streets, destroyed buildings, and cause millions in property damage. I don’t even consider it lucky that no innocent bystanders were injured or killed. I call it a Goddamn miracle! It’s bad enough that the mayor is bitching at me about the damage; if anyone was injured or God forbid killed, not even I could keep her from bring the National Guard to our doorstep. I just BARELY convinced her to not fill formal charges against you two, since they didn’t have the facilities to contain super powers.”

I pause for a moment, and take a deep breath. This is the part where I wish Hank wasn’t in the room. I just hope my words are not registering to him now, cause this is something I don’t want him hear. But it looks like I don’t have a choice. Damn it!

“But believe it or not, though the damage you two caused is enormous, it isn’t the part that bothers me. I don’t care what it was that started it, and I don’t care what ended it. What bothers me most is what happened during. Would you like to see something that was just recently uploaded to YouTube?”

I turn my monitor around so they could see the screen. It was loaded to a video that some one recorded with a low-res camera. I then click the mouse and let the video play a bit.

“…believe that I would be your best-friend no matter what you’d done in a time where surviving was the only option?”

“It wasn’t about forgiveness…I was ashamed. You don’t understand what I did, what I was…Kami I killed people. And not just a few...dozens of people. Women…c-c-children. I did it for fun sometimes…I was a monster Kami…and I was ashamed to ever speak about it. I never told you because I wanted to forget! If I han’td told anyone about it, and everyone forgot, then it would have been like it never happened! You don’t have the right to judge me! You don’t understand any of it!”

“I don’t understand? You were brainwashed…and trained to enjoy that. It wasn’t your fault. But I wasn’t allowed that comfort. I wasn’t brainwashed into it. I didn’t get to have my mind cleaned of everything I was before to make room for a monster.

*gasping and commotion from people near by*

“I was just turned into one. I killed people because I was ordered to. Oh I was trained...but I still knew who I was. I watched everyone around me become mindless monsters, while I was never washed of the memories that made it horror day in and day out.

*bang*

Don’t EVER tell me I don’t understand. I understand better than you...”

I click the mouse again and stop the video. I didn’t have to show any more. It would go on for a few minutes more, with more yelling and more fighting. But the point was made: these two opened up to everyone about something they shouldn’t have spoken out loud. These words will be heard by everyone all over the world now, no way of stopping it. No way of stopping the number of investigations by the FBI, the CIA, the CSA, SHIELD, and any and all government officials. No stopping the angry and righteous from using this as an excuse to rally against mutants, and damage our reputation even more. Even put our kind through more danger. All because their emotions were coming out and in a fit of rage, they blurt out a secret that I had hoped to keep from the public, and ourselves.

I inhale slow and deep, and move slowly around my desk, and behind the two girls. I turn with my back to Hank and lean down in between Kami and Alice, gripping my hands tightly on the tops of their chairs. My voice lowers just enough that they could hear me, and hope that Hank didn’t.

“I’m sorry, girls. I’m sorry for how you feel. The memories that haunt your dreams. The pain that you feel every day since. It was not fair, what happened to you. You didn’t deserve the horror that plagues you. None of us do. It was ugly. Cold. Unforgiving. If I could erase it from our minds so we could be like those that have forgotten, I would. But I can’t, and I won’t play with your minds the way…he, did to us. But know this…what happened, does not concern anyone outside of this institute. To the outside world, and to those that were lucky to forget, it never happened. And I have made great pains, and paid much already, so that this secret stayed hidden. And I am sorry that you were both burden with the truth, but you were granted privacy and the chance to try and move on.”

I release my grip from their chairs and move to the front of my desk, so I could look down on their faces again. My voice goes back to its normal volume.

“That luxury, is now gone. We can no long pretend it didn’t happen anymore. We WILL face it again, when we are stuck having to answer questions we don’t want asked. Hopefully you two can find a way to gain some measure of peace for what happened now. But the damage is done. You two have put not just you, me, and everyone at Graymalkin in danger. You’ve set our accomplishments back years, and made all of us targets by every mutant-hating terrorist and politician in this country. So I hope you two got it out of your systems, because from this moment on, your asses belong to me. Now…is there ANYTHING…you two want to say in your defense?”

A long pause grew, as both of the girls just sat there. Neither of them lifting their heads to look me in the eye. They know their in trouble, and words or no words weren’t going to make things any better. I waited as patiently as I could for either girl before speaking again. I held out my hand to Kami.

“Give me your image inducer, Kami. Since you decided to show the world what you look like now, there’s really no point trying to hide it, is there? That also means that Beast will have to run a full analysis of your changes to see how your…second mutation has affected you. This is non-negotiable.”

Knowing what I remember of those times, I know she won’t like the idea of Hank examining her like this. And I know he’ll ask a whole bunch of question that she won’t like answering. But her mutation should be examined for her own sake. Aside from her outward appearance, the amount of power she used earlier was more than she’s ever demonstrated before. She’s becoming more powerful, and more dangerous. But I couldn’t help thinking, if wielded right…Anyway, I turn to face both girls again.

“And as I said before, the only reason you two aren’t in jail right now is because their prisons can’t handle people like you. So you are both confined to the grounds until further notice. And since your room was destroyed, your both being relocated to one of the hangers. Your training sessions will be doubled, and I’m seriously considering putting Wolverine in charge of running you two to the bare bone.

“Now as for you Alice, I have negotiated with the local government that you assist with the clean up of the wreckage. You will be watched over by a member of staff the entire time, as well as members of the police, but this will show that we take responsibility for our mistakes. And maybe, just maybe, give us back a little bit of good relations with the community that you stomped into the ground.”

I’ll admit that that last part was a little cruel and uncalled for. My good sense slipped for a member, but it didn’t matter. I’m tired and pissed, and I still have a mountain to climb before any of this has blown over.

[Girlzilla]

I think I’ve simply run out of tears. I lie there on the ground, but I can’t cry. Inside, I feel like I’ve been hollowed out, and my thoughts are drifting though the deep dark void that’s formed somewhere where my heart used to be. I feel happy I suppose, and that helps, but the overwhelming relief burned itself out, and now I’m just tired. Kami speaks, and I listen to her every word, handing onto them. She says my name. Chris cuts her off, trying to shield me from the cruelties that he fears she’s about to say. I wish he wouldn’t. I want to hear them, I want to hear her. It doesn’t matter what she says. Kami continues. She says that despite everything, it wasn’t entirely my fault. She was asking for it, she needed to be smacked around, and she needed me to be the one to do it. It helps a little. Dr. McCoy and Kami speak a little bit, and I listen, but only as an observer. Its hard to even turn the syllables into words, my focus keeps slipping. I just let the sound of it wash over my ears, experiencing the sensation of it, rather than contemplating what was exchanged.

As a group, we depart from the lab, and walk through the halls. Chris comes, but he keeps his distance. I’ve frightened him, I think. Good. He should be scared, after what I’ve done. I don’t want anyone to put on a happy face, I don’t want them to pat me on the shoulder and say everything is alright. If they fear me, if they keep their distance, and I never get close, then I can’t hurt anyone. The elevator chimes as we enter, and Chris is forced to step out. The doors start to close, and our eyes meet for what feels like the first time.

“I don’t love you”

I whisper the words, feeling like I’m going to gag. But its better this way. He doesn’t deserve to be stuck with me. I’m clumsy, I eat to much, I can’t feel his touch, and I hurt people. I’m always hurting people. He should just find someone else. It’s better if he does. The elevator ride up, alone, takes a long time. I hate the elevator. It hates me back. I wish the cables would break and send me plummeting down. I contemplate jumping up and down, trying to get them to break. I just don’t have the energy. I’m tired.

The doors open, and now its just the three of us. Dr. McCoy, Kami, and myself. Kami’s wearing a lab coat, and I wonder when that happened. The three of us walk in near silence, except for the creaking and crunching of the floor under my feet. A few students appear in the hallway, but they disappear just as quickly once they see us. I hear whispered exclamations, hearing them converse. They know what happened. They know what I’ve done. And they are afraid of me. Good.

We reach the doors. I don’t think I’ve ever been inside the headmaster’s office before. I wonder what will happen. Perhaps he’ll expel us both. The thought fills me with wonder as well as dread. I don’t want to leave. But I know I have to. It’s the only thing that can be done. I need to be sent away, for the benefit of everyone. But I don’t want to go. I can try as much as I want to justify it to myself, to argue all the good things that will happen if I leave. It doesn’t matter. I want to stay here. I just wish I didn’t. Kami looks at me, for a very fleeting moment. She says that it’s time to face the music. Out of my hollowed out inside, there are words. More words than I could ever say. But I choose only six of them. The ones that matter the most. I know she’ll understand.

“I didn’t mean what I said.”

Headmaster Summers sits behind his desk. Through his glasses, I can’t read his eyes. But everything else, the way he sits there, the sound of his breathing, all of it is screaming at us, bellowing out in absolute outrage over what has taken place. I almost recoil backwards in fright. He motions for us to sit, but I don’t I can’t, not without breaking his chair. I would not be the least surprised if he had made this gesture simply because he knew I couldn’t follow through. He attempts to dismiss Dr. McCoy, but yields quickly to the doctors insistence, instead demanding that the fur clad scientist remain silent for this conversation.

Then he directs his attention to us. It’s harsh, his every word another blow. He’s carefully compiled all the things, all the foolish mistakes we made. Hearing it all laid out, the mutinous scrutiny at which he picks us apart, its unbearable. Worse, there’s nothing I can do. I try and meet his gaze, but even out of the corner of my eye, his stare is to intense, forcing me to avert my eyes, staring instead at the swirling patters within the wood grain upon the floorboards. His reprimand even brings up mistakes I had never considered. Struggling with my own memories of Apocalypse, I had never even once considered what it must be like for those who didn’t remember. And now, the can of worms had been opened. The video hurt the worst. To see myself, full of sound and fury, to see the anger on my face, the inferno in my eyes. I was horrified by it. Looking upon myself without any masks, just this raw emotion. There is nothing worse.

He offers both of us a single chance to speak, to defend ourselves. I have no need to. I deserve everything. But, though I doubt greatly that it will matter, I can try and protect kami. When I speak, my voice keeps cracking. I have to breat every few words, and I can’t do anything but look at the floor. My throat is shaking as the shame I feel wells up again and again, cascading accost my lips along with the words that I whisper.

“Sir…All of it, everything, it’s my fault. Sheena might insist otherwise, but it’s the truth. I provoked her, I threw the first blow. Almost all of the damage was done by me. I was angry, but I was aware of what I was doing. There aren’t any excuses. If it wasn’t for me, all of this could have been avoided. And I think you should just let the army take me. Expel me and leave me to bear the consequences of my actions, I don’t deserve any less.”

I glance briefly at Kami. She’s got a future that’s waiting for her. She’s smart, funny, and so kind. She’ll be a great scientist, or a musician. Maybe both. There’s a spark in her, something that I don’t have. People follow her, she’s a born leader. And she’s more powerful than I’ll ever come close to being. I will not let anything come in the way of her reaching all those wonderful things she can. Especially not when the one thing in her way is me. I get angry, knowing what I have to do.

[shadow=green,left,600]“I’ve Killed people, and I’ll probably just end up doing it again. I’m a freak and a monster, not a person. If your to fucking stupid to realize this is your best chance to stop me, than maybe I’d have to prove it again and again until your realize that I need to be put down. This is no time to be dicking around, trying to play nice with the city. So if your to big a pussy to do what needs to be done, than maybe let someone who actually has a pair step up and do it for you.”[/shadow]

I’m not even sure how much of what I just said I really meant. But this was my best chance. I want to get him mad. I want him to hate me. Throw everything he has at me. I doubt I can really take it. Maybe he’ll kill me right here. But the more his anger is directed at me, the less there can be left over for Sheena. I won’t be her burden.

Not anymore.

[Beast]

It doesn't really come as a surprise that Scott would prefer I not be present. I've heard and in a few are cases been party to his dressing downs. They're never pretty but scott has a fair ammount of sense not to do it in front of those not involved. I'm only here in a medical capacity, and he makes this abundently clear from the start.

Bowing to his wishes I stay towards the back of the room, taking out my datapad to go over the medical information I've assembled on both of them, noting absently that Kami has a raised blood/alcohol content. Fairly minor, but a bit strange given her naturalist background. Of course having an image inducer comes in handy for beer runs, as I myself have found...albiet to a slightly less illegal extent.

I wonder what effect the alcohol has on her new form....Sidelining the stats I pull up an overlay of her current condition, noting the familar spike in dehydration, a lack of certain essential vitamins....and unusually high Liscene levels. She's started consuming meat too...Odd.

I glance up in time for what appears to be a Youtube video to start playing. Listening to what is said on the moniter. Not Quite understanding it...something about monsters...just thinking about it makes my head start aching...that again...I should really undergo a bioscan, see if that can do anyhting for the issue...I suspect that it might be psychosomatic...tied to that lost time when some things changed....

Alice starts talking now, and its clear from her words and actions that her mental state has not improved. Indeed what she says now would seem to imply her stresses were even greater than I had initially suspected. Certainly more than simple shock. Psychology is not precisy my forte, but I can tell a disturbed emotional state when I see it.

I almost speak up then, to try and advise Scott on the condition...but I hold for the tongue, confident both that he's aware of her mental state, and that he won't act irrationally to the words. I wish Jean were present to calm her down...or Charles...Charles would know how to quiet her spirit, give her a moment's peace...All I can do is perscribe pills and ointments, offer my experience in these matters...It is little real balm to the issues that give these matters weight...Even if I understood all of whats going on...which I clearly do not.

Scott and I are going to need to ahve a talk about this when this conversation is ended. I've tried not to pressure him on the issue, confident that he'd tell me when the time was right...but its clear that whatever I'm missing is of larger and growing import. I need to know...

God my head hurts.