Kiss me, I'm Irish

[Siryn]

Ah'd like ta thank Alice for the lyrics, as the not so wee lassy reminded me they exist at all just this morning.

[glow=yellow,2,300]So, Gather round ye lads and lasses
and Set ya for awhile
And hearken to me mournful tale about the emerald isle
Lets all raise our glasses high to friends and family gone
And lift our vices in another Irish drinking song

Consumption took me mother and
Me father got the pox
Me brother drank the whisky till he wound up in a box
Me other brother in his troubles met with his demise
Me sister has forever closed her smiling Irish eyes

Now everybody’s died
So until our tears have dried
We’ll drink and drink and drink and drink and then we’ll drink some more
We’ll dance and sing and fight until the early morning light
Then we’ll throw up pass out wakeup and then go drinking once again

Kenny was killed in Killkenny
And Clare she died in Clares
Tip in Tiperrary died out in the dairy air
Shannon jumped into the river Shannon back in June
Ernie fell into the urn and tom is in the tomb

Cleanliness is godliness my uncle Pat would sing
He broke he neck a slipping on a bar o' Irish Spring
O’Grady he was eighty though his bride was just a pup
He died upon the honeymoon when she got his Irish up

Now everybody’s died
So until our tears have dried
We’ll drink and drink and drink and drink and then we’ll drink some more
We’ll dance and sing and fight until the early morning light
Then we’ll throw up pass out wakeup and then go drinking once again

Joe Murphy fought with Riley near the cliffs of Odinie
He took out his shalaily and he stabbed him in the spleen
Me crazy uncle mike thought he was a leprechaun
But in fact he’s just a leper and his arms and legs are gone

When Timmy Johnson broke his neck it was a crying shame
He wasn’t really Irish but he went to Notre Dame
MacNamara crossed the street and by a bus was hit
But he was just a Scotsman so nobody give a sh(ACH!)

Now everybody’s died
So until our tears have dried
We’ll drink and drink and drink and drink and then we’ll drink some more
We’ll dance and sing and fight until the early morning light
Then we’ll throw up pass out wakeup and then go drinking once again

Me drunken Uncle Brendan tried to drive home from the bar
The road rose up to meet him when he fell out of his car
Irony was what befell me great granduncle Sam
He choked upon the very last potato in the land

Conner lived in Ulster town
He used to smuggle arms
Until the British killed him
And cut off his lucky charms
And dear old father Flannigan who left the Lord’s employ
Drunk on sacramental wine beneath the alter boy

Now everybody’s died
So until our tears have dried
We’ll drink and drink and drink and drink and then we’ll drink some more
We’ll dance and sing and fight until the early morning light
Then we’ll throw up pass out wakeup and then go drinking once again

Someday soon I’ll leave this world of pain and toil and sin
The Lord will take me by the hand to join all of me kin
Me only wish is when the savior comes for me and you
He kills the cast of river dace and Michael Flately too

Now everybody’s died
So until our tears have dried
We’ll drink and drink and drink and drink and then we’ll drink some more
We’ll dance and sing and fight until the early morning light
Then we’ll throw up pass out wakeup and then go drinking once again
Then we’ll throw up pass out wakeup and then go drinking once again
Then we’ll throw up pass out wakeup and then go driiinkiiing ooonce aaaagaaaiiin
Hoyee [/glow]

Happy St. Patty's Day Everyone! Remember to drink safetly tonight.

[November]

I'm not much for country... come to think about it, I haven't even heard this song as it's originally done, just heard other people singing it on karaoke.
BUT, As it's happened to me, and today is happy drinking day, I figure why not?

[glow=black,2,300]She said I'm going out with my girlfriends
Margueritas at the holiday inn
Oh have mercy my only thought
Was tequila makes her clothes fall off
I told her put an extra layer on
I know what happens when she drinks patron
Her closets missing half the things she bought
Yeah tequila makes her clothes fall off

She'll start by kicking out of her shoes
Lose an earring in her drink
Leave her jacket in the bathroom stall
Drop a contact down the sink
Them panty hose ain't gonna last long
If the DJ puts Bon Jovi on
She might come home in a table cloth
Yeah tequila makes her clothes fall off

She can handle any champagne brunch
A bridal shower with Bacardi punch
Jello shooters full of Smirnoff
But tequila makes her clothes fall off

She'll start by kicking out of her shoes
Lose an earring in her drink
Leave her jacket in the bathroom stall
Drop a contact down the sink

She don't mean nothin'
She's just havin' fun
Tomorrow she say oh wat have I done
Her friends will joke about the stuff she lost
Yeah tequila makes her clothes fall off
Oh tequila makes her clothes fall off
Oh tequila makes her clothes fall off[/glow]

[Jason Connover]

* It's not like my family ever embraced it's Irish heritage in the convential sense. Hell, the closest thing we had was my old man going out and getting shit-faced with the boys on St. Patties. Then again, that would be one instance where the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Partying hard is allways a good motivation for anything.*

* And after a few hits of green beer... I decide to regail the Audience of one of the few songs I know from the old country. At least Metalica's version of it.*

As I was goin' over the Cork and Kerry Mountains
I saw Captain Farrell and his money, he was countin'
I first produced my pistol and then produced my rapier
I said, "Stand and deliver or the devil he may take ya"

I took all of his money and it was a pretty penny
I took all of his money, yeah, and I brought it home to Molly
She swore that she loved me, no, never would she leave me
But the devil take that woman, yeah, for you know she tricked me easy

Musha rain dum a doo, dum a da
Whack for my daddy, oh
Whack for my daddy, oh
There's whiskey in the jar, oh

Being drunk and weary I went to Molly's chamber
Takin' Molly with me but I never knew the danger
For about six or maybe seven, yeah, in walked Captain Farrell
I jumped up, fired my pistols and I shot him with both barrels

Yeah, musha rain dum a doo, dum a da, ha, yeah
Whack for my daddy, oh
Whack for my daddy, oh
There's whiskey in the jar, oh

Yeah, whiskey, yo, whiskey
Oh, oh, yeah
Oh, oh, yeah

Now some men like a fishin' but some men like the fowlin'
Some men like to hear, to hear the cannonball roarin'
But me, I like sleepin', 'specially in my Molly's chamber
But here I am in prison, here I am with a ball and chain, yeah

Musha rain dum a doo, dum a da, heh, heh
Whack for my daddy, oh
Whack for my daddy, oh
There's whiskey in the jar, oh, yeah
Whiskey in the jar, oh

Musha rain dum a doo, dum a da
Musha rain dum a doo, dum a da, hey
Musha rain dum a doo, dum a da
Musha rain dum a doo, dum a da, yeah

[Punisher]

War Journal, log entry March 17, 2010:

Crime never rests, especialy on holidays. St. Patrick's Day, for many, is just an excuse to go out and get drunk on green beer and cheap whisky. Then get in their cars and plow through the streets like maniacs, more than likely killing someone. Doner, right? Wrong. That's reality. There is no celebrating when all it does is hurt the innocent. And anyone out at this time of night sure as fuck isn't innocent. That was the case earlier tonight, when a group of wiseguys from the O'Rouke family tried to make a drug deal with hot-shot Columbines, fresh off the boat and looking to make names of themselves. I held them out, by writting their brains on the way with an AK along with those wiseguys. Punishment served.

So here I am, wasting away while yahoos get their jollys off on booze and bad singing. I suppose it isn't too bad. So I decided to do a song myself. Everyone was doing drinking songs, so I decided to forgo the ridiculous country crap, and go with something with a hard tone. Told the DJ to put on "One Bourbon, One Shot, One Beer" by George Thorogood and the Destroyers.

[glow=black,2,300]Wanna tell you a story,
About the house-man blues
I come home one Friday,
Had to tell the landlady I'd-a lost my job
She said that don't confront me,
Long as I get my money next Friday
Now next Friday come I didn't get the rent,
And out the door I went

So I goes to the landlady,
I said, "You let me slide?"
I'll have the rent for you in a month.
Next I don't know
So said let me slide it on you know people,
I notice when I come home in the evening
She ain't got nothing nice to say to me,
But for five year she was so nice
Loh' she was lovy-dovy,
I come home one particular evening
The landlady said, "You got the rent money yet?",
I said, "No, can't find no job"
Therefore I ain't got no money to pay the rent
She said "I don't believe you're tryin' to find no job"
Said "I seen you today you was standin' on a corner,
Leaning up against a post"
I said "But I'm tired, I've been walkin' all day"
She said "That don't confront me,
Long as I get my money next Friday"
Now next Friday come I didn't have the rent,
And out the door I went

So I go down the streets,
Down to my good friend's house
I said "Look man I'm outdoors you know,
Can I stay with you maybe a couple days?"
He said "Let me go and ask my wife"
He come out of the house,
I could see it in his face
I know that was no
He said "I don't know man, ah she kinda funny, you know"
I said "I know, everybody funny, now you funny too"
So I go back home
I tell the landlady I got a job, I'm gonna pay the rent
She said "Yeah?" I said "Oh yeah"
And then she was so nice,
Loh' she was lovy-dovy
So I go in my room, pack up my things and I go,
I slip on out the back door and down the streets I go
She a-howlin' about the front rent, she'll be lucky to get any back rent,
She ain't gonna get none of it
So I stop in the local bar you know people,
I go to the bar, I ring my coat, I call the bartender
Said "Look man, come down here", he got down there
So what you want?

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
Well I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when,
I've been drinking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin
Gonna get high man I'm gonna get loose,
Need me a triple shot of that juice
Gonna get drunk don't you have no fear
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

But I'm sitting now at the bar,
I'm getting drunk, I'm feelin' mellow
I'm drinkin' bourbon, I'm drinkin' scotch, I'm drinkin' beer
Looked down the bar, here come the bartender
I said "Look man, come down here"
So what you want?

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
No I ain't seen my baby since the night before last,
Gotta get a drink man I'm gonna get gassed
Gonna get high man I ain't had enough,
Need me a triple shot of that stuff
Gonna get drunk won't you listen right here,
I want one bourbon, one shot and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

Now by this time I'm plenty high,
You know when your mouth a-getting dry you're plenty high
Looked down the bar I say to my bartender
I said "Look man, come down here", he got down there
So what you want this time?
I said "Look man, a-what time is it?"
He said "The clock on the wall say three o'clock
Last call for alcohol, so what you need?"

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
No I ain't seen my baby since a nigh' and a week,
Gotta get drunk man till I can't even speak
Gonna get high man listen to me,
One drink ain't enough Jack you better make it three
I wanna get drunk I'm gonna make it real clear,
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
[/glow]

[Storm]

Song by Paddy Reilly

Wild Rover

I've been a wild rover for many's year
And I spent some my money on whiskey and beer
but now I'm returning with gold in great store
And I never will play a wild rover no more

(Chorus)
And it's no nay never
No nay never no more
Will I play a wild rover
No never no more

I went into an ale-house I used tofrequent
And I told the landlady my money's was spent
I asked her for credit she answered me "Nay,
Such a custom like yours I could have any day"

(Chorus)
well out of my pocket i took sovereigns bright
And the landlady's eyes opened wide with delight
She said "I have whiskey and bed´s of the best
And the words that i spoke
Were only in jest"

(Chorus)
I'll go home to my parents confess what I've done
And I'll ask them to pardon their bloody girl son
And if they forgive me as oft' time before
well i nerver will play a wild rover no more

[Blue Beetle]

Danny in the Jar -

Oh Danny Boy o Danny, the pipes they are a-callin'
From glen to glen and down the mountainside we are a-fallin'
The summer's gone away, and all the flowers dyin'
'Tis you must go and I must bide, then to the pub I'm flyin'

Misha rum wack-a-do wack-a-day
Wack for the whisky o
Wack for the whisky o
There's Danny in the jar!

But if ye should come back, when summer's in the meadow
We'll drink a pint o' Guinness here in sunshine or in shadow
So find where I am lyin', and tell me that ye love me
Then pour a glass of whisky on that grave where ye have shoved me

(chorus)

And when I'm dead & rotten and flowers grow above me
Remember all the beer I drank and everyone who loved me
You'll say an Ave for me, the afterlife is risky
We're drinkin' holy water 'cause the Devil took the whisky!

(chorus)

There's a black velvet band on that green alligator
and McNamara's Band is playin' at the Dun Cow later
The Wild Colonial Boy gave ol' Finnegan's Wake a tussle
and Molly can't stop ravin' 'bout her cockles and her mussels.

(chorus)

[Penance]

Song by Tommy Makem

The Irish Rover

In the year of our Lord, eighteen hundred and six,
We set sail from the Coal Quay of Cork
We were sailing away with a cargo of bricks
For the grand City Hall in New York
We'd an elegant craft, it was rigged 'fore and aft
And how the trade winds drove her
She had twenty-three masts and she stood several blasts
And they called her the Irish Rover

There was Barney Magee from the banks of the Lee
There was Hogan from County Tyrone
There was Johnny McGurk who was scared stiff of work
And a chap from Westmeath named Malone
There was Slugger O'Toole who was drunk as a rule
And fighting Bill Tracy from Dover
And your man Mick McCann, from the banks of the Bann
Was the skipper on the Irish Rover

We had one million bags of the best Sligo rags
We had two million barrells of bone
We had three million bales of old nanny goats' tails
We had four million barrells of stone
We had five million hogs and six million dogs
And seven million barrells of porter
We had eight million sides of old blind horses' hides
In the hold of the Irish Rover

We had sailed seven years when the measles broke out
And our ship lost her way in a fog
And the whole of the crew was reduced down to two
'Twas myself and the captain's old dog
Then the ship struck a rock, Oh, Lord what a shock
And nearly tumbled over
Turned nine times around - then the poor old dog was drowned
I'm the last of the Irish Rover

[Penance]

Festival of Galway (Paddy Reilly)

Well it happens every year in the last week of July
When me and allme friends go heading West to Athenry
We never make a stop till we reach that famous town
As we travel to the Festival of Galway

Chours:

And it's drink up now for the hour is getting late
You can pack up all you fiddles boys and put your pipes away
And it's drink up for we'll get together soon
For we're off to Ballybird again tomorrow afternoon

We have one more stop in the town of Oranmore
Then it's off to find our lodgings in Salthill's rocky shore
And when we ge there we'll have a couple more
As we gather for the Festival of Galway

Chours: Then early next morning we're on the road again aS we travel out to Ballybird along with all our friends
With half the wolf a head of us the other have behind
Sure the crack is at the Festival of Galway

Chours:

When the races or over its back gain to town
Good fortune to celebrate our sorrows for to drown
Then back again to Dublin we'll have another year
To look forward to the Festival of Galway