The Faction: The Real Life (Closed to Faction)

[Kissaki]

Aww, how cute. The little gooball thinks he’s people. Still, he manages to shlop off the chucks of himself sticking to everything, and actually manages to get everything cleared up, though the smell still lingers. He heads off to get some cleaning supplies. Glad to see he’s taking care of that. We’re not animals here, we deserve to live in a nice place.

“And when you finish, Be sure to scrub the terrace, sweep the halls and the stairs, and clean the chimney. And if you finish all that, you can go to the ball tonight. Won’t that be fun?”

The air around me giggles. I smile, knowing that the one chick that’s name I already forgot, but who will otherwise be referred to as Casper, the hemophilic demon spirit. Way better than that poufy ball of smiles from the movie. I like her, ghostly gal. It does my heart good to know that there is life after death. Now the next step, figuring out how to kill things after they die. And then that annoying guy shows up, with some widget gizmo. He insults my butter ball of a manservant/teammate. Now whats the fun of threatening someone into doing your work for you if there was a clean non-violent solution.

I watch the little droid as it goes about its work, ignoring the comments of the big guy. The wheels inside the ting turn, a high pitched whine of a motor driving it. Oh yes…this thing is not some form of cleaning machine. It exists only to mock me. Soon, the machines will gather, uniting into a mechanized force of destruction that sweeps accost the globe, striking down all of mankind with unfeeling efficiency.

And that’s not cool. Genocide is a work of art, a beautiful expression of one’s soul and inner hate for life. And so, to save mankind until someone competent enough to slit the collective throats come along, there is only one choice.

“STOP MOCKING ME”

I grab the droid, and fling it into the air. Hands go to my swords hilt, feeling its grip against my skin. Wait for it. The bot spins about in the air, and with each moment, gets closer to the perfect striking range. So close, its gonna be great. Little bits of wire and gear work everywhere. It’ll be…wait.

That guy made fun of my sword. Not cool.

The droid falls to the ground with a bit of a clatter, but I hardly notice as I turn towards the big guy, Kryptonite I think he said.

“Hay, not cool. You’re a great guy, but I wont shove my sword up your bootie, no matter how much you want me to. I’m just not that kinda girl.”

It’s important to set these distinctions from the start of a relationship. It helps clears away potential issues from cropping up later.

“Now maybe after we get to know each other a little better, we can have that ‘special’ kind of relationship you want.”

I do the little air quotes as I say ‘special’. He seems a tad slow, so I try and help him understand the situation as best I can.

And now that we’ve covered that, It’s time for a snack.

[Slimeball]

* She's still barkin orders at me as I'm hastily makin my way to the broom closet... tremblin like a lime-jello jiggler all the way. Man that bitch is fucking NUTS! Mother of God what the hell did I get involved in with this. The party's still goin on without me as I head to the broom closet to grab alla that cleanin crap they shown on TV. The Mr. Clean and the Lysol and the Comet and Febreeze and the Liquid Plumber. Spooky-girls joining in the spat between Moose and crazy-girl in with her normal creepy way of doin things; laughin from the rafters and making the room go cold.*

* I get up to the closet and of all things that preppy prick blocks me off, holding some kinda X-box lookin thing. Makes some wise ass crack about me not knowing how to clean cuz I smell like shit. I really don't know what he's talkin about... I mean yeah I swam through a sewer, but I don't smell nuthin.*

[glow=limegreen,2,300]" This ain't rocket science poindexter... it's a MOP... now get outta the way allready. "[/glow]

* Sets the thing down, and the little things starts whirrin to life.. even talks to him.*

...affirmitive... test procedure one activated... initiate cleaning protocol...

* And like a little RC car it starts movin around the room... the vacuumin sounds coming out of it. Ahh... so its one of of thoes clean-bots I've herd about. That's kinda nice... not having to do anything... still, this preppy d-bag did just call me out. Course... so did the meathead.... but I think I'd have a better chance against this guy than the meathead.*

* Allasudden that crazy bitch just screams out... grabs the little cleaner and throws him up in the air... ready to slice him up... before she looses all interest in him, then turns around to keep chewing out the meathead again.*

* The little bot crashes down like, well, a VCR outta a loot bag. It just kinda lays on it's side... it's eye flashin like it's dyin. Great... now I gotta go back for the stupid cleanin supplies. Then the little eye on it blinks... turns all red... then the little thing starts spinning around... before it stops, staring right at me*

---TARGET ACQUIRED--- FOREIGN CONTAMINANT.... SUBSTANTIAL--- INITIATE CLEANSING PROTOCOL---

* Okay... it's got a scary Terminator voice now.*

* A second later it revs up to full speed and come's flying at me... snapping out little brush arms at it rams into my leg.*

CLEANSE

[glow=limegreen,2,300]" OWWW... what the fuck?? "[/glow]

* It rears back... and rams me again.... harder this time.*

CLEANSE

[glow=limegreen,2,300]" Dammit knock it the fuck off... can you get this little... AAAAGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!! "[/glow]

* dunno how... dunno why... but somehow this damn little droid got airborn... and managed to clamp on to my leg.... sprayin on some kinda cleaner as it's there freakin buffing and scrubbing away on my damn LEG!!! Chanting the same fucking thing over and over!!!! *

CLEANSE
CLEANSE
CLEANSE

* I can feel burnin in my leg as hot suds start forming around it... and the time I'm clawing at the little leg-humping mother fucker...*

[glow=limegreen,2,300]" TURN IT OFF GODDAMMIT!!!! TURN THE LITTLE FUCKER OFF!!!!!"[/glow]

* Finally, I manage to claw the little bastard off and throw it off into the side of the couch. Mother fucker... what the hell is wrong with all of these people? First I got psychobitch being... a psychobitch, now Mr. Wizard is trying to kill me with a cleaning bot.*

* I'm hunched over... rubbin my leg, growling up at that uppity little prick...*

[glow=limegreen,2,300]" Congrats poindexter... you just made an automated leg hu... GMPH---!!!"[/glow]

* GOD DAMN IT... THE LITTLE FUCKER'S ON MY FACE NOW!!!! AAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

CLEANSE!
CLEANSE!!
CLEANSE!!!

[Silva]

And they continue to put on a show.
As I watch them all, it just keeps getting better.
The Jerk leaves the room finally, but comes back, with one of his many robot toys from upstairs.
I've watched him build these things for a while, never seen one of them actually work yet, but the little thing seems to do O.K.
Until the Redhead gets ahold of it.
I'm about to cheer for the death of the machine, but the thug keeps talking, taking her attention off the toy, she just lets it fall to the ground.
That's a shame.
I bet if she'd actually cut it, that asshole's head would have exploded.
And he's already grinding his teeth, about to as it is.
The robot isn't done though. It attacks the slime-guy!
My howling laughter rings out all over the place as it does.
I'd keep on laughing at the spectacle, even as that asshole starts to explode, but the thug makes a random inquiry about our boss, and it reminds me...
She is supposed to show up here today, at some point.
I wonder if she's on her way?
See... Part of me being here is some gris gris charm she had made. To control me.
She doesn't say it exactly that way, of course, she's not here to rob me of any will or trap me as I've been trapped before. She says.
But, I am not taking her word for it.
The charm goes both ways.
I can use it to track her just as easily as she can use it to summon me from anywhere.
I leave the house, completely, traveling on the magick in the gris gris, to put my consciousness into the charm K keeps on her, I assume most the time.
Once I've 'checked up in on her, I move back to the new hide out.
K is making no bones about using me to keep an eye on this group.
But it all goes well, and they keep my interest, two can play at that game.
Once back, I actually materialize in the room. My wraith form. It looks like me, only opaque. See through. A ghost.

[glow=dbdbdb,2,300]"Actually, the boss-lady's like 10 minutes to being here."[/glow]

As long as they stay on my good side, I can always give them what they need to stay on K's.

[Trojan]

The idiot responds to me that a mop isn't rocket-science, and yet, I still have doubts he can actually make one work for him.
It doesn't matter, and I don't reply, simply continue moving on with my bot-test.
It's actually doing well. Until the redhead grabs it screaming about it mocking her, tossing it in the air, aiming her blade at it.

"What the Hell is wrong with you?"

She ignores me, and the clean-bot, turning on that other guy, as the bot just falls.
I move to catch it, but I'm not fast enough. It hits the ground, the noises making it clear that allot of the hardware broke inside.
I look from it's fallen form, to the bitch who broke it, who is still ranting off insanely at that other guy, my jaw starting to feel the pressure of me grinding my teeth in anger.
I'm not the hot-headed type that fights on an instant.
That's too easy, and not always a winning battle.
I have no doubt the redhead can take me apart with that sword of her's.
I'll have to take her out another way. Something less direct.
Something that will show her my robots are not ignorant enough to be able to 'mock' her.
She could go cybernetic, and still be too dumb to exist on their level.
To my surprise, the robot's LEDs go from green to red, and it's voice changes, as it starts to attack the freaky goo-kid.
I stand back observing with interest, and amusement, as it seems to see my 'teammate' as it's target of uncleanliness.
The guy gets it off, tossing it into the couch, and starts to cuss me about the whole thing, but even that doesn't stop it, as it clings to his face.
I shake my head, reaching over and hitting the 'Off' switch on the back. I catch it as it falls limp, about to say something, when the feeling in the room changes.
The ghost was making her presence felt, and it suddenly disappears, and comes back, reporting that K will be here in about ten minutes.
Well. Isn't that handy?
The place is a mess, the robot's broken, and there's no way the slime ball is going to be able to straighten up in time.
He's got the goo off the walls. It's just the smell that's a big problem.
And that's easily fixed.
I go over to the wall, opening a hidden spot that's actually a remote air system control.
This building is actually set up like a hidden fortress, with more than a few surprise gadgets I get to play with.
The air system makes a noise, the setting I put it on not normal for any living space, and it sucks out all the foul air, replacing it with fresh.
It's not cleaning anything, but at least we can all breath now.
And perhaps K won't notice our first meeting didn't really endear us to one another at all.
I close the hidden panel again, looking at my broken robot, and at all the other fools.
It could replace them all, with the proper programming.

"You're welcome."

[Nasthalthia]

"The Radiation Level is 1 mrem."

The scientist pushes his glasses up and his nose as he writes it down on his clip board, nodding his head.
I smile, pleased.

[glow=00ff00,2,300]"That's less than a yearly dose produced by an older television.
It's not lethal. Very nice.
Keep checking on the levels. If this dose stays stable, I want to move on with this strand."[/glow]

I nod and turn to leave the lab, getting behind the wheel of my new Prius, going back to my personal apartment.
It's time to head over to my latest project, the Faction, and see how the crew is liking their new living area.
As well as get them properly prepared for their first mission.
This should produce plenty of interesting data, before it's over.
I put my wig in place, the purple business suit forming to me in all the right ways to keep people from concentrating too hard to my mental faculties.
I leave out the back, getting into a different vehicle, everything on me and around me now not connected to my civilian identity.
Not as practical as the Prius, this over sized hummer is fun to drive. David did good work on it.
It's not as armored as the one we souped up for the team itself. But it is a more appropriate ride for K, than it is for Nasthalthia.
Arriving, everything looks quiet from the outside, as the doors open, allowing me to park in a garage area, right next to the other Hummer.
I get out, and listen, hearing nothing strange, as I walk to the living room area.
They are all here, which makes it convenient. I can get right to business.

[glow=00ff00,2,300]"It's good to see you're all here. I trust you're enjoying all the amenities provided?"[/glow]

As I'm not really listening for answers, I use a universal remote made for me by Trojan, the big screen flaring to life, going through several News casts, each featuring members of the Titans.
I let it play a bit, the clips showing the individuals using their super powers to 'save the day'.
I turn the sound off after a few minutes, turning back to the team.

[glow=00ff00,2,300]"I'm sure you're well aware I haven't brought you here just to throw money at you.
I do expect you to work for it.
The reports you just saw are all well known Super Heroes called Titans.
Teens with powers like you. Teens that think their powers make them so much better than everyone else, that they deserve to police the rest of us.
I want you to confront them on their own turf, and give them an attitude adjustment.
I picked each of you for your abilities.
You should have the power to take them down.
Does anyone have any issues with this job?
If so, this is the only chance you have to speak up."[/glow]

I look over them all, this time actually waiting for an answer.

[Kryptonite]

I swear I'm going to have to choke a bitch before this is conclude. Getting on my last fucking nerve. First she plays plays me up as some kinda sex freak, and then she makes like I'm slow, hittin on me the same kinda way popular girls do when they want to humiliate the fuckin geeks.

Choke this bitch right out, she keeps playin that card...Where's my fucking shot? I had my fuckin shot, I wouldn't be considerin the merits of that...

One positive comes from Four-Eyes and his GIR mop, with the little gizmo malfunctionin an deciding to take Scuddy for a 'ride'. Cute couple.

That brings a bit of a chuckle that cuts through the tension, easing it in my neck and back, bringin the rage down to manageable levels...which actually explode into a full on belly laugh when the Gizmo comes back with a vengeance, trying to face rape Greeny.

Now that was quality entertainment...

Ghost chick also pops full on in to let us know that the bosslady is enroute, giving me what I need to know about my shot. Its on its way soon enough....carried in the arms of the manipulative bitch...I can hold out till then.

Course when she arrives it seems like the shots the last thing on her mind, as she starts off with social patter, and then moves straight on to the first job. Buncha superkids. Titans. Sounds like a buncha long underwear cosplayers. Losers. I'll pound ehm flat and make it back here in time for lunch.

Piece o' cake.

Assumin of course I can get my fuckin shot. I say as much when she's finished.

[glow=black,2,300]"Sounds like a cakewalk...assumin of course you ain't intendin to stiff my on my shit. Ain't takin on the Superfriends without my dose, same as we agreed. You get me that, and I shouldn't even need these losers to pull the job...though I'll happily use Booger boy as a shield..."[/glow]

Why the fuck did I get stuck with this gang o' wannabees anyway? They don't seem like they could break their way into a McDonalds...Though I'm pretty sure Red Sonja could blow it up.

[Kissaki]

And then everything was wonderful forever. I’m serious. The universe opened up, and down came a single moment which I was lucky enough to witness. The message was clear, resonating deep within me. It said ‘Don’t worry kiddo, we got your back’. Because it seemed that by casually tossing around a vacuumed, I had lead it away from its hardwired desire to feast on human misery, and now was shown the proper path. Now it was willing to hurt people for my amusement. It was a beautiful sight, watching the leg humping, face raping, robot on slime action that you usually don’t get to see outside of the obscure corners of interweb erotica. God bless Rule 34. Commodor-Buzzkill yells at me for tossing his machine around, but I am frankly out of damns to give about his concerns. Theres a robot attempting to make love to one of my team mates. Now I only can hope that both sides of this romance are fertile enough for there to be offspring.

The miracle of life has never been squikyer. Another Job well done.

Our spectral laugh track chuckles with approval, prompting me to hold out a fist, eagerly awating a congratulations knuckle-bump. I will wait as long as I need to, for team mates who can’t trust one another to not leave them hanging are no team mates of mine. Alas, my patience goes without reward, as she seems to be somewhere not-here. Not even sure I want to fist bump now, since I suspect she could be out having casual knuckles with all manner of degenerates, and as we all know, they masterbate. A lot. Don’t want any of that on my hands. Might end up drawing the mopdroids attention, and then I’d end up caught in a love triangle.

You ever get the feeling that your train off thought is running off without you? Me nither.

Casper, the hemophilic demon spirit, returns and announces that upper management will be swinging by in a few minutes. The opportunity to put the remaining grenades to use is tempting, but not enough for me to actually use them. Repeated performances loss the pop of the original. There’s plenty of everyday moments I can spice up that will be waiting for me in the future.

Like most lovers scorned, Admiral Four-eyes Doesn’t take kindly to seeing his former partner shagging up with Slimer, and shuts the bot down. I pout, disappointed. I was sure we were moments away from reaching full impregnation with one of them. Not sure yet as to who’d be playing mommy. For a guy who’s all anal about the science and robots and whatness, he didn’t even let me get some notes down before putting the kibosh on the whole experiment. Science weeps today.

Management arrives, dressed in what appears to be the tanned hide of Grover, or Grimace. Kinda hard to tell with the lighting.

“About time, showing up this late to the interview. Very unprofessional. Well, take a seat and lets get started. Tell me, why should we hire you join to our enterprise?”

I ask, deeping my voice to imitate a big buissiness type guy. She totally blows me off, but I like to think that’s because she was to off put by my kickass improve skills. Instead, she starts into a presentation that looks like it took maybe…15 minutes on PowerPoint. She starts on about how we’re here to actually work, not just chill around our new pad. First target is going to be the titans, and she starts psyching us up with lines about how they think their powers make them better than us.

“YA! How dare anyone be special in any way at all!”

I nod, affirming to our righteous cause of ‘hurt the guys we don’t like’. Mission specs are a tad to indepth for my taste. Go to their base, break them, come back, eat cake. Might have added that cake part in after hearing Bullwinkle’s answer. And Boy, he totally suprises exactly nobody when he reveals that…DUN DUN DUUUUUUN….he’s on Drugs.

Guess its true what they say. Users are tools.

“Almighty, sounds like three halves of a scheme to me. I’ll pack everybody lunches. If your allergic to peanuts or pepper spray, tell me now. I don’t want any complaints later. And if anybody wants the crust cut off their sandwiches, then be sure to bring your own knife because I’m not sharing mine. Not even if you beg me.”

[Slimeball]

* GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!!!!*

* Mother FUCKER! This glorified wetvac is trying to skull-fuck me, suddsin up my frikking cranium with floor-polish, and all anybody cares ta do is sit back and LAUGH at my goddamn expense! This preppie fucktard's unholy little rape machine is fucking killing me street cred here! Oh yeah... there is the agonizin burning from the hot jets of cleaner inta my face... but what's good my stunnin good looks gonna do me without street cred??*

* Mighta well went back to the OLD crew!*

* FINALLY poindexter takes a god-damn hint and turns his little do-hickey off... an has nothin ta say for it! Not a damn thing as I spit out the cleaner an wipe all the fucking pledge offa my face... wich is kinda discombobulated thanks ta the buff-fucking it gave me. Nothing a good head shake can't get back.*

* an naturally... I got that God DAMN lemony fresh taste in my mouth.*

* an again... the meathead's laughing... can't hear the ghost chick anymore but I KNOW I herd her... and that crazy bitch is just standing there with a puppy pout that'd be kinda cute if she wasn't batshit crazy. And that douchebag that suck that evil little... THING on me... he just walks over and flips on the thing... then presumes to tell me 'your welcome'... like I'm supposed ta have thanked him for keepin his facehumper in line.*

* I just glare at the douche's back... he just walks back inta his lab a horrors... and I jus mutter*

[glow=limegreen,2,300]" keep walkin... ya fuckin preppy asshat... "[/glow][/size]

* ...that'll teach him... *

* Run back to where I made my glorious entrance to my new pad... sloshin around some water to get this nastry crap outta my mouth... mother FUCKER nothing is going to taste right after this! God... Clean is SO fucking overrated!!! Takes like five minutes to get it bearable before I come back out inta the livin room... an allready I hear that crazy chick is rambling about bein late and what can be brought to the company... an it's like what the fuck is she...*

* OH GOD MISS KAY'S HERE!!!!*

* I just scramble and kinda get in attention an stuff as she calls our meeting to order. She flips on a little slideshow of ona them teams of Super-freinds playin hero. Look kinda familiar. Anyways... she says that if we want to live here we gotta work for it... an our first job it to take on these 'Titans'. Oh yeah... thoes guys, with that silly lookin headquarters an...*

* oh GOD who's that?!?!?*

* lookin up at the screen an there's this orange chick in a purple thong bikini. My eyes are just locked on the screen watchin this amazon kicking ass in slow motion... them curvaceous curves of her moving with each a them... bolts of... stuff and burning hair of... fire and... ohboy... kinda spacin out here... cuz Miss K apparently asked us if we gots problems.*

* Meathead said sumthin about doping up on meat... Crazy girl said crazy stuff... and I'm still starin at the footage...*

[glow=limegreen,2,300]" Problems? No problems... we'll kick 'em in the boobs... err thong... I mean... *ahem* We'll stomp their pansy asses! "[/glow]
* Smooth. Good save there Grimey-boy!*

[Silva]

I don't have a sense of smell. So when that asshole turns on the air system, I don't notice anything significant. His 'Thank you' comment seeming out of place for the lack of real change.
But whatever he did, it made the room tolerable for K. When she arrives, it's like she has no idea of the little scene that happened a moment ago.
K turns on the TV, flapping her jaws about not paying us to stand around.
I feel like protesting that she's not paying me to begin with, but I keep it to myself, and it fades from my mind as I spot HER on the screen.
Alyssa, standing with Robin of the Titans, as if she's some sort of Hero.
K isn't paying me... not in so much monetary value that I don't need in my current form. She promised me a chance to get to Alyssa, this team is just fodder to keep the Titans busy so that I can.
And this, our very first battle, is it! The whole reason I haven't tried to get away from the Gris Gris keeping me here.
The first to speak up is the thug. Seems K's giving him drugs as payment. That's not a big shocker really.
He rants on how he can do this job himself, without the rest of us, if he gets his fix, and I point to the screen, highlighting Alyssa's form for them to see,

[glow=dbdbdb,2,300]"I don't care how many Titans you take out. This one is mine. I claim all rights to causing her agony and pain."[/glow]

Focused on Alyssa's image, I ignore the other's responses.
It doesn't matter.
I've made my claim. The rest can do their own thing.
Even though I'm visible, my voice is still projecting ethereally through the whole house, a sinister chuckle as I imagine all the ways I can torture Alyssa.
And I know many many ways too.
Chopper was never stingy on showing me the ways to hurt someone, so that they live to feel every bit of pain that's caused.
I can't wait to get this 'mission' rolling.

[Nasthalthia]

((OOC: I'm skipping Trojan. His post would be filler, and I don't see it needed. This should be the end of this part of the plot, and, if anyone on the team is ready, they can start the next thread, the attack on the T.))

Kal is the first to reply, saying he's ready, as long as I have his shot. I nod to him,

[glow=green,2,300]"Of course I have it. In fact, I believe you'll find this particular mix to be quite... invigorating."[/glow]

I pull a needle out of my suit jacket's inner pocket, the familiar green glow making it look as if it has a life all it's own as I walk over to administer the dose.
Kal's a pet project, within this pet project, for me.
His unique addiction to K-laced drugs gives me a whole new field to work in where synthetic blends are concerned, and he's a willing Guinea pig to test such things out on.
I watch the site of the injection, making sure to hit his vein on the first jab, pushing the green liquid into him.

[glow=green,2,300]"There ya go. If you feel any discomfort, I want to know."[/glow]

The next to speak up is Kissaki, her mental state showing in the gibberish she spouts. I don't really say or do anything to dissuade her. I am counting on her unpredictability to get us through one spot I can't script in this.

[glow=green,2,300]"Make sure you pack plenty of fire-power. I want you to use your bomb-tech skills on this mission."[/glow]

Grimes states his readiness, his eyes on the TV display of Starfire as he stumbles through his own perversions. I simply nod and move along.
Silva's response is everything I expected. The sight of her self proclaimed arch-enemy is all it takes to stir her up for the action.
I notice David's expression, and I'm sure he's trying to pick out which of his latest creations will be of use in this battle.
Good. They are as ready as they will be.

[glow=green,2,300]"Alright, listen up. This is the plan, and I will only go over this once."[/glow]

I push a button on the remote, pulling up different images on the screen, for reference as I go.

[glow=green,2,300]"This diagram is of the island. Usually it's impossible to breach this island, but tonight, there will be a tiny window of opportunity to catch them off guard.
Between the rain storm, and their own security upgrades, if you move fast, you will be able to catch them with the element of surprise.
We have a speed-boat located here, that has been modified to get you to the island as fast as possible.
Kal, David, Grimey, you three will be the main foot-wave. I want you to attack head on. This will bring all eyes on you, and allow Kissaki to get inside the Tower itself.
Silva, you do have your target, but I will need you to use your Axe to help the guys out in the main battle as well.
While you guys are thrashing those brats, and keeping their attention, Kissaki will be free to blow up their precious HQ.
I don't have blue prints of that ridiculous T, so Kissaki, you will be going in blind. I assume that doesn't bother you.
Remember, if anything goes wrong, and you're taken into custody, just keep your mouths shut, and I will collect you back to the team as soon as I can.
If you open your mouths to the cops, I won't be able to do anything for you, and you'll be left to rot in jail.
Now, if all this is understood, let's get moving.
We have an hour before the security system will be offline for your grand entrance."[/glow]

((OOC: remember, don't reply to this thread, it's done. Go start the attack in a new thread.))